It's been five years (hence the Cinco in the title, obviously) since the 2008 NBA Draft. On the day of the 2013 NBA Draft, I figured I'd go back five years and redo the picks of the 2008 draft. I will simply be going back, and just doing it over again knowing what we know now. Any draft day trades will still happen, because than this will get more dysfunctional than an episode of Maury, so the order will be the exact same. Besides, NBA executives are morons for the overwhelming majority, so dumb trades would still happen now, even with knowing how these guys careers would pan out. So, lets get this thing started. Ladies and gentlemen, The Godfather, David Stern!!!
Before we hop in the Nugget Blog Time Machine and head back to 2008 (overall, a pretty solid year in my life. The Phillies won the World Series and my mom let me skip school and took me to the parade in Philly. I got my first job. Well, thats probably about it. Still, pretty solid year.), let me offer my insight on tonights draft real quick. The experts are calling this a weak draft class, and believe me, I am the farthest thing from an expert on college players. I only watch during February and March. I'm a bandwagon college basketball fan and only watch when I deem it "important". So take this with a grain of salt, pepper, oregano, paprika, and heroine when I say that I think this years draft class is going to be really strong. I just think that its bad that all of the experts all calling this week. They are usually wrong about the things they predict, and for all of them to agree on something just doesn't seem right. This might be a bigger flop than The Ellen Show, but I'm sticking to it. Also, if you an address for any of the first round picks tonight, feel free to send it to me. I need to send them all cards to apologize for the jinx I just put on their careers.
So, as my boys from MXC would say, "Get it on!"
1. Chicago Bulls- Derrick Rose, PG (2008 pick: Derrick Rose, PG)
Would anyone expect this to change? The Bulls struck gold just as they did in 1984 with the third pick (definitely not comparing D-Rose to MJ. If not for reasons of talent, fame, success and talent, than the fact that MJ would have played as soon as doctors cleared him this season. Just saying.). Remember, Rose was the safe pick in this draft. He dazzled us at Memphis for one year, which was his main flaw. Freshman entering the draft is always a risk, but it is never a reason not to pick a guy with the talent that Rose showed. Plus, the first three picks were all freshman. Rose would go on to win Rookie of the Year and win an MVP, and tear his ACL. So its been the best of both worlds for the Bulls and Rose, but when he is on the court, he has been arguably the best point guard in the league.
If Rose comes back fully healthy next season, I really think the Bulls can take down the Heat and win the Eastern Conference. Chicago was able to stop the Heat's 27 game winning streak and take one game from them in the Eastern Conference Semis, all without Rose. Put Rose in the lineup and that playoff series might have gone seven games. Rose has turned out to be a great pick for a team that had a 1.7% chance at winning the 2008 lottery. The Miami Heat had the worst record that year, and Chicago was just the ninth worst. The Bulls were a somewhat decent 33-49, and wound up with the first pick in the draft. Only in the NBA, people.
2. Miami Heat- Russell Westbrook, PG (2008 pick: Michael Beasley, SF)
I think Heat fans cringe at the name Michael Beasley. Who am I kidding, Heat fans don't remember anyone on the team before last season. There was a meme going around the internet with pictures from the Baltimore Ravens Super Bowl parade compared to the Miami Heat championship parade. The meme showed a particular clot of Ravens fans and a strip of Miami with not so many Heat fans, trying to show that Heat fans really don't exist. The biggest gripe I've heard about this meme is that the Heat parade had more overall fans attend it. Well, that might be true, but don't try and sell me on the whole "Miami Heat fans are the best!" plot. Heat fans boo and cheer at the wrong times in games, complain about fouls or calls that are so clearly right, Miley Cyrus could actually make the right call, and can name four players on the current team. LeBron James. Dwyane Wade. Birdman. Chris Bosh. And I'm only thinking they could name Bosh because of how tall and goofy he is. I know one respectable Heat fan who knows basketball as well as anyone, and liked Miami well before LeBron and Bosh got there. Everyone else is an assturd. I don't care if I lose credibility for saying assturd, personally, I feel like I should gain it.
Anyway, Beasley seemed like the right choice at the time. He had a great freshman year and led Kansas State to a semi-memorable season. That Kansas State team sticks out to me because of how much they fell apart at the end of the season, though. Remember, they were 17-5 on February 9, and 20-10 on March 8. They wound up losing in the first round of the Big 12 Tournament, and lost in the Round of 32 in March Madness to a pretty good Wisconsin team that lost in the next round to my boys at Davidson. I picked that upset and their win over Georgetown that year. Needless to say, I somehow didn't win my family pool, even though I was the only one who correctly predicted Davidson all that way. Sometimes I think my family rigs the tournament against me, and only let me win two years ago to keep me from being suspicious. In the end, you can't blame Miami for striking out so badly on Beasley because he did seem ready for the NBA. At least ready to be a star within a few years. Before I wrote this section, I wasn't even sure if Beasley was still in the league. He is, he played on the Suns last season, and actually started 20 games. He has somehow averaged double digit points every year in his career. Thats about as stunning as the Fast and Furious 6 being the third highest grossing movie of 2013 so far.
Imagine if the Miami Heat had taken Westbrook, definitely one of the top three point guards in the league right now, depending on your personal opinion on Chris Paul, Derrick Rose and Beno Udrih. I'm assuming they'd still have landed LeBron and Bosh, because of their love affair with Wade. Money wouldn't be a problem because Westbrook would still be on a rookie contract in the summer of 2010 when Miami lost all my respect (although by now, they have it back. I gotta be honest, they earned this championship. The Pacers and Spurs gave all they had, and Miami came out on top. You know you earned a title when you beat Tim Duncan and the Spurs. I still don't like the Heat, but I do respect them now.) That means their usual starting lineup would have been LeBron, Wade, Bosh, Westbrook and Udonis Haslem or Ray Allen, depending on how small they were playing. That team wins 70 games. Mario Chalmers is a fine point guard, but Westbrook can make passes that are on par with LeBron or Steve Nash. I'm not sure if Westbrook would still be a top three point guard, because he'd obviously get less touches than he does in Oklahoma City, but he'd still be a top ten, easily. I shake thinking of how good that team would be. I'm not sure if a team has ever had a Big Four like that. Don't bring up the Lakers. One, because Pau Gasol shit his pants this season. Two, because Dwight Howard shit his pants this season. And three, any team declared a "dream team" that isn't the "Dream Team" often ends up a catastrophe, ala, the 2012-13 Lakers. And every writer who thinks they are somewhat clever and witty calls it a nightmare, and we move on. But, I really would call that team a dream team. Oh well, Michael Beasley jerseys sold pretty well, I'm sure of it.
3. Minnesota Timberwolves- Kevin Love, PF (2008 pick: OJ Mayo, SG, traded to Memphis in multiplayer deal for Kevin Love)
The trade that happened on draft day back in 2008 does not happen knowing what we already know. See why this is fun?! Minnesota doesn't almost shoot itself in the team taking OJ Mayo before Kevin Love if they know what talent Love really does possess. The only downfall to Love so far has been the inability to really trust someone with everyth-er, he can't stay healthy.
Love has already made an All-NBA team and has come pretty close to winning MVPs. I actually picked him to win MVP before this season. I looked back on my predictions from before this season started, and my MVP predictions are pretty hilarious. I had Love, LeBron, Rajon Rondo, Kevin Durant, and James Harden. I landed Harden, because I figured he'd thrive as a starter. Durant and James are easy picks. Love and Rondo played less than 100 games combined. Whoops. I'm telling you, with a blog that sees as much traffic as mine, you'd think someone would be excited to see their name in it. But really, I account for more sports injuries, collapses or any form of bad luck than the Sports Illustrated and Madden jinxes and hernias.
The T'Wolves probably made the trade they did because they also landed guys like Mike Miller and Jason Collins. Speaking of which, shout out to Collins and all the homosexuals affected by the strong possibility of Prop8 falling in California. I know so many close-minded people who are seriously pissed off by this. My cousin posts stuff about it on Facebook everyday, and he claims to be a religious person. God can judge all of us when we die, and he does and will. Who are we to play God and decide who can and can't get married? I don't agree with gay lifestyle, because I am a straight man and I also don't think marriage is between a man and a man or woman and woman. However, I shouldn't be able to decide that for others, and neither should the government. I know plenty of gay couples who are a better fit for marriage than heterosexual couples. Sixteen year-olds who know nothing about the real world can get married for all the wrong reasons, but homosexuals can't? How fucked up is that?
Back to Kevin Love, the T'Wolves don't even bother drafting OJ Mayo if they know what they can get from Love. Minnesota has a possible Big Three in Pekovic, Rubio and Love, but they can't get all three on the court and healthy at the same time. They also can't afford them all, and unfortunately, I think Love is the main guy out. They offered Pekovic a qualifying offer today, making him a restricted free agent. If he signs, they'll also need to worry about paying Rubio some money to keep him. With the new CBA restrictions kicking in next season, which would take me about 65,000 words to explain, Minnesota can't afford to give Kevin Love max money too. They need to hope someone offers 80 cents on the dollar for a guy who has been banged up for two seasons, and get what they can get. Its a shame, because this is a playoff team with all three healthy, and an eight or nine seed with at least Kevin Love at 100%. This team had as much as potential as Amanda Bynes, but I see them both heading in the same direction soon.
4. Seattle Supersonics (Oklahoma City Thunder)- Roy Hibbert (2008 pick: Russell Westbrook, PG)
This is the part of the redone draft when teams who struck lightning lose out because I fixed the errors of earlier teams. The poor Thunder lose out because Miami didn't screw up on Michael Beasley and took Westbrook. But, I think the Thunder fix things and take Roy Hibbert, who ends up being an All-Star center and almost takes his team to the NBA Finals and upsets the Heat. That Thunder team never had a dominant center or big man. Hibbert might not be as good a pick as Westbrook was, but he'd help almost immediately. Hibbert is such a force under the basket, and would make a great teammate to Kevin Durant. Imagine a team with Durant, Hibbert, Ibaka (although he might not be on the team since he was drafted later in the first round of this draft! Drama to keep you reading, I'm giddy!!), Sefolosha, and maybe Reggie Jackson or James Harden (but probably not, don't forget that the majority of NBA executives are morons or cheapskates). That would be a great team. They'd boast the outside shooting of Durant and Harden or Jackson, the overall game of Sefolosha, and the low post, defensive brilliance of Hibbert and possibly Ibaka (oh, the cliffhangers!).
I really think Hibbert would thrive in a town like Oklahoma City. We saw his true personality on display during the Eastern Conference Finals (no home), and I think it would be humbling for him to play in a smaller town with a guy like Durant. The only weird thing about this pick is seeing Hibbert in the Oklahoma City blue after watching him in the bright yellow all this time. If that makes me sound like Tim Gunn, and you don't want to read my blog anymore, so be it.
Its pretty personal for me and Hibbert, although don't bother asking him that on his Twitter page, because he doesn't know it. I had Hibbert for almost two seasons in my infamous 2k Knicks fantasy draft franchise. Hibbert played soft and grabbed like 6 rebounds a game as my starting center. He must have had 4 blocks all season and rarely played any defense. He was non-existant on offense. So, I traded him away in a blockbuster deal that brought A'Mare Stoudamire to New York (even in video games, Stoudamire was destined to flounder in New York). Ever since, whenever he returns to play me, he has at least one gigantic dunk as kind of a "Fuck you" to my team. Maybe I'm reading to much into this.
5. Memphis Grizzlies- Danilo Gallinari, SF (2008 pick: Kevin Love, PF traded to Minnesota for OJ Mayo, SG)
That 70's Show went downhill went Eric left for Africa. So, most of the seventh season and all of the eighth season sucked because the main guy was gone. The offense of the show was not there. They had the right idea by putting some moron dreamboat on the show, but it could not have worked out any worse. I admire them for trying to build on the loveable Kelso, but it just didn't work. Randy Pearson was the one who replaces Eric, and even ends up having a relationship with Donna that is really just stupid and seems forced. The only bright spot about this season is the finale, which I actually liked. Eric returns from Africa and gets back together with Donna after apologizing for leaving. Well, I could vent about this season all night, but the central point of this is that the producers were trying to get something funny out of this season that mainly had serious plots and loose ends. Memphis had the defense, they were trying to find a shooter. Both the producers of That 70s Show and the executives of the Grizzlies had the right idea, they just found the wrong guy and wrote the wrong script.
If you're still reading, thanks for either understanding or ignoring my analogies.
Memphis could have drafted the Italian stud Danilo Gallinari, a shooter from Olimpia Milano in Italy. Aside from his team reminding me of my favorite cookies, Gallinari would have fit right into this Memphis team. The Grizzlies play defense with the best of them. Over the past five seasons, I'd even go as far as saying they have been the best overall defensive team in the league. They haven't done anything huge yet because they haven't had anything remotely close to an offense. OJ Mayo should have changed that, and he did for a little bit. He never established himself as the can't-stop scorer Memphis imagined he'd be, never resembling his days at USC. He needed a change of scenery, and even got himself a nod on my countdown of the Top 100 Players in the NBA Today as a part of the Mavericks. What's that? You're wondering what happened to the final three parts of that countdown? I can't hear you guys, I'm going through a tunnel.
Gallinari has been a great scorer for the Nuggets. He had his best season to date this year, posting a 16-5-4 a night. He is at his best from beyond the arc, where he hit 2 three's a game this season and shot 37%. I think he would have improved this Memphis team right away, who ranked 24th in the league in 3 point percentage. Throw a guy like Gallinari in, and suddenly this team can stop you from scoring, and go off on three point tantrums like Houston or Miami. Does that push Miami past the Spurs in the Western Conference Finals? They'd have had an answer for Danny Green and his three's. Maybe it does, but I think it at least makes it a series if they had Gallinari. Of course, Denver had to give Danilo a big contract this past offseason, so Memphis might have let him walk instead of paying him. Although they do have cap space, so who knows there. I'd pay him, I think he is a great asset for any team. Than again, what are NBA executives?
6. New York Knicks- Serge Ibaka, PF (2008 pick: Danilo Gallinari, SF)
Was Ibaka the sixth best player in the draft back in 2008? No, not that he wasn't in the top ten. I think the Knicks should have picked Ibaka here because of how effective he is under the basket. Ibaka is the league's best blocker not named Larry Sanders, and plays great defense. The Knicks have done nothing the past few seasons because of a handful of reasons. Carmelo and Stoudamire were never going to work together. JR Smith is the biggest jackass in the league. Tyson Chandler got his money and stopped hustling. Can you name the coach of the New York Knicks? Most people can't, not because he sucks, but because they don't care. The Knicks have lost all reason to care. Carmelo puts on a show every now and then, but really, the Knicks are just a flashy basketball team. The Knicks are like the Kardashians. Not many sensible people watch, and the only ones who tune in need to feel better about their lives or want to see a disaster unfold.
Put Ibaka on this team, and suddenly a lot changes. I don't think the Knicks bring A'Mare in from Phoenix. But then again, Knicks management is about as efficient as Carnival. Listen to the guys who got big minutes for the 2008-09 Knicks team: Al Harrington, Quentin Richardson, Wilson Chandler, David Lee and Chris Duhon. The guys who didn't? Gallinari, Nate Robinson, Zach Randolph, Jamal Crawford and Larry Hughes, all guys who turned out to be pretty effective and talented. So, don't think for a second that they wouldn't have traded for a guy who clearly meshed with their star. Only to bring up a major pop culture, Asian player who could have made them millions with the Asian market, only to listen to that same star they already screwed over and trade this phenomena for 45 cents on the dollar. Anywho, lets say they make the right call and don't trade for Stoudamire. That means the team this season might have looked something like this: Carmelo, Serge Ibaka, Raymond Felton, JR Smith, Tyson Chandler, Jason Kidd, and Iman Shumpert. The starting five could be Anthony, Ibaka and Chandler in the front court, and Felton/Kidd with Shumpert/Smith in the backcourt. That team makes it to the Eastern Conference Finals and gives the Heat a scare. They can score with anyone, and play pretty damn good defense too with Ibaka. I love everything about this team I have created! Sign some quality bench players to go with a Steve Novak and Kenyon Martin, and this is a championship caliber team! I am making my new life goal to own an NBA team. My infamous Knicks franchise has made the playoffs three of four seasons and made the Eastern Conference Finals once. I clearly can handle the job.
7. Los Angeles Clippers- Eric Gordon, SG (2008 pick: Eric Gordon, SG)
I think the Clippers make the same pick, and hope for the same results. Gordon played pretty good basketball for the Clippers, until he was used as trade bait in the Chris Paul trade. So, even though this was a top ten draft pick used on a guy who doesn't play on the team anymore, he was used to bring in one of the top 90 players in NBA history and the best point guard in the league today.
I went back and forth trying to decide if the Clippers would take Gordon still, or maybe toy with picking Brook Lopez to play center and take a scorer later and pass up DeAndre Jordan. I'm going to look at that scenario instead for a little because it is more interesting. We're all about the sexy stuff here at the Nugget Blog, we give the people what they want. If the Clippers took Lopez, they'd be set at center for the next five seasons and beyond, depending on if they wanted to pay him. So, with their 35th pick, they could have landed Goran Dragic and turned him into a two-guard when CP3 came to town. For last season, they could have sent out a lineup of Chris Paul, Dragic, Blake Griffin, Brook Lopez and Caron Butler. I like that team a lot better than the squad with Jordan. I'm not a huge fan of DeAndre Jordan, and I think I'd have him fall far in this draft. I'd definitely take Asik, who was taken the pick after Jordan originally, over him. Jordan has potential, but theres a reason Boston didn't pull the trigger on their "win-now" mentality earlier in the year to nab the center.
Either way, I think the Clippers past five seasons all work out the exact same, unless they went back in time and nabbed Sonny Weams, who hasn't played in the NBA since 2010.
8. Milwaukee Bucks- Brook Lopez, C (2008 pick: Joe Alexander, SF)
I want the Bucks to be decent. I can't help but feel bad for this team, who has been stuck in NBA no-man's land for the better part of three decades. NBA no-man's land is a bad place to be. You either want to be really good, almost really good, or really bad and rebuilding in the NBA. You never want to be decent, because than you have nowhere to go but nowhere, steadily. And that has been the story of the Milwaukee Bucks for as long as I can remember.
Had they taken Brook Lopez instead of the irreplaceable Joe Alexander back in 2008, they might be almost really good right now. Listen to this team and tell me how many games they win: Monta Ellis, Larry Sanders, Brook Lopez, Brandon Jennings and Player X. Thats a big lineup that can also score in bunches. They're one really good Player X from being really good. Suddenly, Milwaukee would have an identity and avoid being swept by the Heat in the playoffs that they had no business being in.
Being stuck in NBA no-man's land is kind of like being a great show on cable network. There has never been a cable TV show to accomplish being the most watched nationally in the history of ever. And for the television year 2012-13, 3 of the top 25 most watched shows on TV are on cable networks: The Walking Dead, Monday Night Football, and Duck Dynasty. For the record, Mad Men should be on there, as should Criminal Minds. I'm hooked on Criminal Minds after my girlfriends mom introduced me to it. She loves all of those crime scene drama shows, like Castle and whatever else TNT plays constantly. I really think TNT only plays crime scene dramas and basketball all day, all year. If anyone notices anything different, please let me know.
9. Charlotte Bobcats- OJ Mayo, SG (2008 pick: DJ Augustin, PG)
We're sticking with guys who prefer to go by two letters over their full names here, and instead of going with DJ Tanner, Charlotte takes OJ Simpson.
DJ Augustin has been about as effective in the NBA as Aaron Hernandez covering up a murder. I mean seriously, aside from the obvious moral flaws in this case, how much of a moron must you be to murder someone you know and dump him in an industrial park? Hernandez deserves everything he has coming to him because he is a murderer and an idiot. My prayers are with the family of the victim and anyone affected by this tragedy, and I hope Hernandez gets life with no parole. He also looked like a class A jackass in his white tee and basketball shorts in a federal court. What a guy.
Anywho, Mayo might not being have the most successful and eye popping NBA career, but he is far and away the better choice over DJ Augustin. Put Mayo on this Bobcats team, and they at least are moving in the right direction. They'd have a good nucleus of OJ Mayo and Gerald Henderson (and Kemba Walker, I guess. I'm never impressed by Walker. I guess he peaked in college.). Mayo would definitely fit into the way this team plays, too. I actually really like this pick, and hope Michael Jordan is reading my blog somewhere and goes after Mayo this offseason. If the Bobcats land him, I want at least a small royalty from his agent.
10. New Jersey Nets (Brooklyn Nets)- Nicola Batum, SF (2008 pick: Brook Lopez, C)
With the final pick of the top ten, everybody's favorite Nets take the three point stud, Nick Batum. Now, since this is the last pick I'm going to talk about (you're welcome), I'm going to play some fix the Nets since they won't have Brook "The Good Lopez" Lopez anymore. In 2008-09, Bobby Simmons somehow found himself starting almost 50 games at strong forward. Let's place Batum there now. Thats an instant upgrade, however, we need a center because Lopez stepped in immediately as the starter. This team was still rebuilding, so I'm putting Josh Boone in. Now, they need a center. So, years later when Dwight Howard is looking for a new home and the New Jersey Nets are suddenly the Brooklyn Nets, is someone intrigued?
Me thinks so. Dwight would definitely be somewhat interested to join Batum, Josh Johnson, and Deron Williams in Brooklyn. Suddenly, this team is incredible. Imagine that starting five. Williams, Batum, Howard, Gerald Wallace and Josh Johson. And Reggie Evans, who somehow refound himself after sucking ass in Philadelphia. I think that is a much better team than the one with Lopez, although it completely depends on if Howard would fold under the bright lights like he did with the Lakers. Although the Barclays Center always looks like a funeral with the way I can't see the crowd on TV.
With that Barclays Center shoutout (the 2013 NBA Draft is being held there, for those who think I just say things. Well, I do just say things. For instance, y'all should go home and watch the IT Crowd on Netflix. I'm rewatching it for a third time while my girlfriend is on a cruise. I really miss her, so I'm trying to occupy my free time while I'm not working. So yeah, I'm spending it blogging and rewatching a show about three nerds for the third time. Don't judge, tell them Miley!!) here's how the rest of the 2008 first round would unfold!
11. Indiana Pacers- George Hill, PG
12. Sacramento Kings- Michael Beasley, SF
13. Portland Trailblazers- Nikola Pekovic, C (I expect a huge career out of Pekovic. I don't care if I sound like a demanding father.)
14. Golden State Warriors- JJ Hickson, PF
15. Phoenix Suns- Robin Lopez, C (Les be honest, the Suns would still fuck up somehow knowing what we know today.)
16. Philadelphia 76ers- JaVale McGee, C (This one hurts, because as much as I think McGee is a huge moron and jackass, I'd love a franchise center. Andrew Bynum who?)
17. Toronto Raptors- Mario Chalmers, PG
18. Washington Wizards- Omer Asik, C
19. Cleveland Cavaliers- Goran Dragic, PG (Does LeBron stay with a very decent point guard on his team? You're right, probably not.)
20. Charlotte Bobcats- DeAndre Jordan, C (Suddenly, the Bobcats would have had OJ Majo and a possible franchise center, despite what I trashed DeAndre about.)
21. Brooklyn Nets- Ryan Anderson, PF
22. Orlando Magic- Jerryd Bayless, PG
23. Utah Jazz- Marreese Speights, C
24. Oklahoma City Thunder- Courtney Lee, SG (Instead of having Westbrook and Ibaka, the Thunder wind up with Hibbert and a douchebag.)
25. Houston Rockets- Kosta Koufos, C
26. San Antonio Spurs- Jason Thompson, PF
27. New Orleans Hornets- Darrell Arthur, PF
28. Memphis Grizzlies- Brandon Rush, SG
29. Detroit Pistons- Anthony Randolph, PF
30. Boston Celtics- Luc Mbah A Moute, PF
So, there ya have it! The fun thing about redoing these drafts is thinking about how different things could look today. Aside from the smaller changes, think about how good the Heat could be with Russell Westbrook! Its scary. Memphis could have greatly improved, and I think the Thunder lose last season's Western Conference Finals without Ibaka or Westbrook. That means the Spurs could have made two straight NBA Finals. You'd have to think they'd win one of those meetings with the Heat. Although, Miami would have had Westbrook.
Ok, I need to stop before I get a migraine.
Enjoy the NBA Draft, ladies and gents!
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1 comment:
Nice read.
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