Ranking the Top 100 Players in the NBA Today- Part 2 (79-60)

Welcome back, y'all! Quick advice for all of my readers (all four of you): if you ever clog a toliet, there is a switch in the back to keep the water from overflowing. This would have been very beneficial to know as I ran into this chicanery yesterday and immediately thought I was going to die. I can quote Remember the Titans and Anchorman with the best of them, I can't handle an overflowing toilet. If I need to hand in my man card because of this, so be it.


With that being said, who knows when I will finish this countdown. I know I'm keeping you all in suspense, refreshing The Nugget Blog countless times a day, blaring Daughtry until your ears fall off. Listen, I know. But, I have been very busy with the other things I surprisingly have in my life, and also put way too much thought into this ranking. That doesn't allow me to just put something together and post it. I weigh everything in this, if I know of a really pathetic music video that Goran Dragic has been in, you better bet your ass I'm ranking him higher than Ryan Anderson. Spoiler Alert: Dragic and Anderson ranked somewhere between 68 and 342 spots higher than Austin Rivers. David Stern and Howie Mandel actually also ranked above Austin Rivers this season, as did Doc. 

Anyway, I'm pointing this out to give me a chance to remind you, the readers, that I am not taking any postseason play into consideration (even if I did prematurely shoot my wad on what was supposed to be a dry run ((Tobias, you blowhard!)) in Andre Miller's section) with these rankings. If Luol Deng ends up winning Finals MVP and outduels LeBron and Durant on his way to the greatest postseason any player has ever had, I'm not ranking him higher than LeBron or Durant because of that. Playoff play has nothing to do with this ranking. At all. So, without further ado, let's carry on with Part 4 of the Top 100 Players in the NBA TODAY! To get us started, please welcome Our Lady Peace!

79) THABO SEFOLOSHA, OKLAHOMA CITY THUNDER
If I'm not mistaken (and I'm not, I checked), this is the first Thunder player on the board. Hmm, isn't this the guy who was more heavily valued than one, James Harden? Think Harden finishes ahead of him on this list? Karma is a bitch, Oklahoma City.

Anywho, Sefolosha would have appeared much higher on this list had I made one before the season. I, like many, expected big things out of this guy before the year started and though he still put up solid numbers and defense, he definitely didn't play up to his potential. Sefolosha posted a nice looking 8-4-2 a night, with about 1 steal and almost 1 block too. However, his defense speaks for itself and doesn't need any fancy numbers to back it up. Sefolosha acts as a type of glue for this Thunder team, and although I cracked a joke in his first few lines, OKC would be a lot worse off without him. It also wasn't overlooked that his birthday is only four days before mine. 

When first looking at his stats, I understand that you really might not be buying into my ranking of him in the top 80. After all, he only scored 20+ points twice this season. That's less than Dominik Wilkins did. But he really is underrated on the defensive side of the ball. Almost every single game, Sef is asked to defend the opposing team's best perimeter scorer, and he still ranked above 3.0 defensive win shares rating this season, according to BasketballReference.com. The term "Top" is kind of vague, isn't it? Kind of like how the MVP can be up in the air for who is more "valuable" and what that means. Or like how it's pretty debatable when someone says "Will Smith won the 1997 Grammy for Best Solo Rap Performance" even though Jay-Z's Hard Knock Life was up a nominee that year. You follow?

"Top" can mean whatever you want it to mean, and I include players who mean something a lot more to their team than a padded stat sheet. Sefolosha is the perfect example of this. He plays stupendous defense and is underpaid. He only makes $3.9 million next season. Sefolosha is a team player who is well-rounded, with no glaring weakness in his game. Only mild strengths and great defense. I'll take that any day of the week on my team. Every team needs a Sefolosha to be successful. That should be on a coffee mug.

78) JARED DUDLEY, PHOENIX SUNS
Yet another Suns player on our list. Does this consolation make up for the shitty season your team went through, Suns fans? No? Why are you opening that bottle of Jack Daniels at 8 in the morning? Ok, ok, all right. We'll go as quickly as we can through Dudley's section.

In fact, maybe this will help you get through a little better. We Miss Steve Nash

Jared Dudley looks to have a bright future with the Suns, he really does. He started 50 of the 79 games he played in this year, averaging an 11-3-3 for the season. He also posted a 47-40-80 season, not too shabby. Dudley should have at least been talked of a little bit more in the Sixth Man conversation, although I don't even know if he would technically have been eligible. This is why I don't have a vote for these awards. But I do have a vote in my rankings, and Dudley earned this slot. 

Now, I love Dudley's game. He can dribble past you, but he also has a sweet looking jumper that can kill you from three. He also plays a little defense here and there, but first and foremost, he is a scorer. And his 11 a game in somewhat limited minutes this season should show you that (if you're choosing to ignore the offensive ineptitude of the team he plays on). My one knock against Dudley? He appeared in Movie 43. That shows he is a) desperate for money (very possible playing for Robert Sarver), b) he has a very poor sense of humor and actually found the screenplay funny or c) I'm completely wrong about this guy and he has a terrible sense of judgement. I'm 97% sure it is a mix of all three, with option a dominating his choice. Anyway, Dudley plays a basketball player (shocking) named Moses in a segment about Victoria's Glory. I don't want to ruin it in case you're planning on hating your life and watching it. I also don't want to write about, its that bad. I don't condone bad movies here unless its funny how bad they are. This goes in the pile with My Bloody Valentine. Some movies are just so poorly done that it pisses you off that everyone involved probably made more money than you will in your life solely on that shitty movie. Ok, this section was depressing, we need another pick me up before Phoenix goes up in flames. This might help.

77) RAY ALLEN, MIAMI HEAT
Ray Allen might just win a ring this season, the year after turning on the Boston Celtics and going to the dark side. The only comparison this has is if Luke had turned to the dark side and teamed up with Darth Vader and taken out all of his friends, effectively dominating the entire galaxy. It's just not fair.

On a side note, I am deciding right now that Empire Strikes Back is not only the greatest sequel of all time, but is the best of the original Star Wars trilogy. I am not counting any of the prequels, since all of them were pretty bad (with the exception of the Phantom Menace for the most part, and the end fight scene of the Revenge of the Sith, everything else sucked. The second prequel doesn't even get its name mentioned, it is the Kyle Boller of Baltimore Ravens quarterbacks.). That being said, the Family Guy Star Wars spoofs are all better than the three prequels, the movies Disney will produce and any Star Trek episode or movie ever made. I hope that didn't eliminate any of my fan base!

Ray Allen has made the adjustment of his "one of the Big Three" roles with Boston to "one of the guys surrounding the Big Three" role in Miami look easy. Most players would tremble in that predicament, complaining about lost playing time, lost money and the need to be used more often and effectively. They would miss the limelight, take unnecessary shots and complain to the media. Allen does none of the above, thriving in his quiet, veteran role on a championship defending team. He averaged 11 points a game this year, hitting 42% of his shots from beyond the arc. At 37, Allen has not lost a step. He still makes those three point jumpers look easy. And trust me, they aren't. I recently started playing hoops again with my roommate. We play each other, one-on-one, every other night or so. We've played three times so far, and I'm down 2-1 in the series. Who am I calling on in Game 4? That's right, Pat "Ray Allen" G. I'm not giving out my last name so you have to go to my profile and subscribe in order to find it out. Marketing, ladies and gents. The 5 P's of marketing, you ask? Price. Place. Product. Promotion. Pat.

Allen might play forever, for two reasons. One, his demeanor and personality allow for him to survive on any team, no matter how egotistical they might be. He has no ego. Two, he has showed no signs of slowing. He plays 25 minutes a game still. He takes 8 shots a game, half of which are from long range. He can play another four or five seasons at that rate. And if so, he might even catch a guy like Jerry West on the all-time scoring list. Allen is about 200 shy of 24,000. Only 20 players in NBA history have scored 24,000 points. Who is the guy ahead of him? His old teammate, Paul Pierce. Ouch. Hey, Allen knew he wasn't winning another ring in Boston. Can you really blame him that much for jumping ship? 

76) AVERY BRADLEY, BOSTON CELTICS
AB is on here for one reason, and one reason only. Defense baby! You all should know by now how much I value a guy who can score (almost 10 a game) and play exceptional defense (Bradley held the team together in Rondo's absence and certainly held the defense completely together anytime KG was hurt or playing with 45% effort). Avery Bradley is one of the most underrated defensive players in the league. Bradley recently took home 15 total points in the NBA Defensive Player of the Year Award voting for 2013. That means he had two first place, one second place and two third place votes. I miss Marcus Camby by the way. We need to revitalize his career, inject him with deer antler spray or something. The NBA is better with Marcus Camby in it. Trust me.

AB didn't play in a game until he started on January 2. He suffered a dislocated shoulder in the 2012 playoffs and needed surgery in the offseason. Boston was 14-16 heading into their game with the Memphis Grizzlies on January 2. They would lose that game, falling to 14-17. But after that? Boston won the next six (losing the next seven. What a fucking awful example. What if on Monday, I went into my job and had the best week of my life production wise. And then the following week, I just completely took a shit on everyone. That is literally sports in two sentences) games, and would eventually finish 27-23 after the Bradley return. That is definite improvement, while their best player in Rajon Rondo was out. Bradley stepped up big for this team this season. 

Perhaps even more important and impressive on Bradley's resume than his defense, his ability and willingness to partake in Haiku Thursday on Twitter. At least he seems that way with tweets like this (on a Thursday): 
My bro des to Atlanta.
Man we were just at Jason lee together.
So happy for him.
Another tweet gem from AB? "Y do people think I'm 6'1 lol im 6'3 people" Tweets like these can not just be ignored, they need to acknowledged for how great they are. Which brings me to Jose Canseco and how all of you should follow him. All of you should follow him. Canseco might hold the Guinness record for "Most Consecutive Tweets in Span of One Minute That Have Nothing to Do With Anything" and "Biggest Moron on Twitter While Also Being A Gigantic Moron and Jackass in Real Life". Canseco is as talented as they come. Seriously, follow him. And AB! He's good at defense!

75) TONY ALLEN, MEMPHIS GRIZZLIES
Tony Allen is the perfect example of making this list for defensive purposes. Except unlike some of the guys we've already covered, Allen is better at defense but significantly less potent on the offensive side. Allen got 9 first place votes for 2013 Defensive Player of the Year, and 102 overall, but did score just 9 points a game. Allen's average per game this season? 9-5-1. Mediocre, certainly nothing stellar or awful. We're not talking LeBron James or Austin Rivers (Pat-2, Austin Rivers-0, unless you count Rivers making the NBA and me writing a D-grade blog for no reason, than its more like Pat-2, Austin Rivers-1). However, Allen did give the Grizzlies 26 minutes of fantastic defense a game. 

Allen posted a career high 4.1 defensive win shares rating this season, meaning he won Memphis four games this year solely because of his defense on the court. That's pretty awesome. Allen is not even really an offensive liability, more of just an offensive nothing. Allen is like the guy on your flipcup team in the middle of the order. He quietly makes his cup and doesn't negatively impact any essence of the team. But without him, your team would be nowhere because a cup would not be getting flipped. Well, the defense that Memphis boats would be nowhere without Allen. Going forth with this analogy, the detrimental player on a flipcup team is the loudass who calls being the anchor, and than once your team kills it and builds a lead, that same loudass can't play the game to save his life. He's flipping his cup like a mouse on Red Bull or chugging his beer like a jackass. He has officially screwed any hope your team had winning. The NBA likewise of this? Carmelo Anthony, Stephon Marbury or Eddy Curry all suffice. So, really, the New York Knicks suffice. 

Memphis allows ten more points per 100 possessions when Allen is not on the court compared to when he is. That is insane and paints the perfect picture of what Allen's perimeter defense means to the success of this team. Memphis only scored roughly 94 points a game this season. Throw that agains the 101 the Griz Kids allow when Allen is on the bench with the 94 they allow when he's on the court, and you can visually see in this blog the importance of Tony Allen. When I can display imagery proving to you that a guy nicknamed "Trick-or-Treat" Tony is that vital to an NBA team's success, I go to bed with a smile on my face. I also would seriously love to know where that nickname originates. Well, now I have my next question for Matt Hardy's genius installment of "Ask Matt". I'll ask that or try and find out what Matt would take back if he could erase one thing that he did wrong in his life. I guarantee its something about some slut he was with during his WWE days and not the DUI he got or the road he took to the pathetic life he leads these days.


74) STEVE NASH, LOS ANGELES LAKERS
The fact that I initially wrote the Phoenix Suns as Nash's team this past season shows how little of an impact he had on the Lakers, compared to what we originally thought. I truly do feel bad for Steve Nash and the fact that he has yet to win a ring. If there is a player in the league who has zero rings and really deserves one, its Nash. The guy has left it all on the court for his entire career, entertained all of us through some of the greatest playoff games of all time and endured the shittiest organization for the majority of his playing time. Nash may have had teammates who made it easier for him to spread the ball and make basketball exciting again, but they also ended up bringing about his demise in most seasons. And his putrid defense didn't help either. All of these factors together only party explain why Nash has yet to win a ring.

This season has to go down as Nash's most frustrating. When it began, almost everyone had the Lakers chalked in as at least one of the final four teams by the end of the year. People were calling this team a "Dream Team" (something you'd think athletes would realize is dumb by now, and almost definitely never works. And by that I mean never works). Nash was on the same team as Kobe Bryant and Dwight Howard, two of the top 15 players in the league today and probably two of the top 75 players in NBA history (depending on where you rank Dwight at this point in his career). Nash had always been the alpha dog of those Suns teams, with Stoudemir'e, Shawn Marion and the rest playing second fiddle to the exciting white guy. Its a tragedy that those exciting offenses never even amounted to an NBA Finals appearance, much less a ring on one of the greatest point guards of the past decade. The guy won back-to-back MVPs based solely on that trait of his game. He is fun to watch. He made basketball fast paced and exciting during a time when teams like the Spurs and Pistons were winning with slow paced defense. Nash was the sexy pick. He could create something fun out of anything. And it was hard to watch him fail miserably at that this season. But it was encouraging because he was still one of the top 75 players in the league amid his decline.

Nash couldn't stay healthy enough all season. He couldn't hold together the mess that this Lakers team became. He couldn't do it. But he could create pick and rolls like most point guards only dream about. He did average 13 points and 7 assists in the 50 games he played in this year. He might not have been the Stevey we knew from 2001 to 2011, but he was still pretty damn good for being banged up, 39 years old and playing on the Guiding Light version of a professional basketball team. I just hope Steve Nash retires with a ring someday. He deserves it. I don't remember a single moment where I rooted against Steve Nash, and he played with some of my least favorite players during his career. I never liked Shawn Marion, but I always wanted the Suns to come out of the West because of Nash. I am not a huge Dwight or Pau Gasol or Metta World Peace or Kobe or Lakers or D'Antoni fan, but I would be okay with all of them getting rings this season if it meant Nash got one too. I just admitted my man crush on Steve Nash, and I'm fine with that. He's also not paying child support for his children because his wife seems like a greedy bitch and has already made millions off the divorce they got one fucking day after the birth of their first child. Nash claims that he doesn't want the kid to be spoiled rotten by the oodles of money his ex-wife is trying to get out of him. I think Nash is probably a cool dad. He's a cool basketball player despite being white, Canadian and boasting long girly hair. He has to be a cool dad than.

73) RUDY GAY, TORONTO RAPTORS
When you look at Gay's stat line for this past season, you might wonder what type of crack infested pipe I've been smoking out of to do this list. How the hell did Gay only crack 73rd on this list and who the fuck wants to die alone? Which leads me into what most people don't know...FUN.'s first album is much better than Some Nights. Watch any interview with the band, and you will know that they don't give two shits about illegal downloads, but go buy their first album, Aim and Ignite, right now on iTunes. It will change your life. And when you're done, buy Under the Iron Sea by Keane. That album has gotten me through so many "I have this album in my iTunes?" moments. 

Anyway, back to Gay. His stat line in his combined season with the Griz Kids and Toronto looks something like this: 75 games, averaging an 18-6-3 in 35 minutes a game. That goes with his two steals a game, as well. That's pretty good numbers, but on this list, I can not overlook how much Gay actually hurts a team. It's exactly why Amar'e Stoudemire didn't make this list. Team killers are not considered "top" dudes. Memphis played so much better this season post-Gay, and might just win the Western Conference in the absence of Westbrook. That is not a direct compliment to how unvaluable Gay is, but its almost pin point. 

The most obvious evidence for that? Mike Conley ranks higher than Gay after his increased playing time when Gay was shipped to Toronto earlier this season has led to much better play. Conley has the ability to take over a game, Gay did not and does not. Gay can score points, he also can take lots of shots. He is a defensive liability and half-asses time on the court occasionally. And, as I said, he doesn't take over games. He showed tons of promise when he was on the All-Rookie team some seven years ago. Gay is also inefficient, hitting 41% of his nearly 1300 shots this season. And lastly in our roast of Rudy Gay, he has vision problems. He is only 26, there is no way this can get better unless he gets surgery to rectify it, and is that even a guarantee? I wonder if Dr. James Andrews can do things like that? If I went into Dr. James Andrews office with perfect vision, and he told me I was blind, I'm pretty sure I'd believe him. 

So how did he even crack this list then if he has so much baggage that even Jerry Springer would turn him down? Gay can score, and he does it in bunches. He isn't efficient, he doesn't really play team ball, he doesn't really play defense and he isn't the guy who I'd trust to take over a game for me. But he is a guy who I know will put up around 20 a night. He just will always do that for me. He's not one of the top players in the league, but he is one of the top scorers. He hasn't averaged less than 18 a game since his rookie season back in 2006, when he scored ten a game. That's a consistent 20 a night, and I have no problems ranking that this high. I just can't go higher.

72) TRISTAN THOMPSON, CLEVELAND CAVALIERS
Tristan Thompson really stepped up in the absence of Anderson Varejao for this young Cavs team. Without Thompson, realistically, this team might not have won double digit games, let alone 20. Thompson filled the shoes of the big man, who was rebounding like Taylor Swift before he went down with a quad injury before the All-Star break, by averaging nearly a double-double a night. He posted 12 points and 9 boards a game. He improved from 43% shooting from the field in 2012 to 49% this season. He also took one more three than he did in 2012. He was 0 for 2 in 2012, 0 for 3 in 2013. Hey, he's no Steve Novak. Speaking of which, Novak is number one on the "Let's Not See That Image Ever Again" list for this year. This unfortunately happened at some point. Although in a close second is this. 

One achilles heel in Thompsons game? He gets blocked, and he gets blocked often. Around 15% of his shots this season were rejected, which was higher in April and almost broke the NBA record. Thompson has steered away from dunking often and tried to perfect his jump shot, which is why I pointed out his 5% increase in shooting percentage this season. Thompson has come along way, even just from before the break. Before the All-Star break, almost 17% of his shots were getting rejected. That has got to be frustrating, I don't care if I'm hitting 85% of my shots and 15% are getting blocked. Anything higher than like 6% would just be ridiculous. Then again, I've never played in the NBA, and the league average is close to 6%, so I would probably be around 75% of my shots getting blocked with my 5'8'' stature (that number is heavily inflated to look good on my Topps edition Blogger card. My real height is closer to that of Pedro's little midget friend. Well, maybe somewhere in the middle. For those still with me, I think I'm 5'6'') 

Because of Thompson's defense, rebounding skills and reliable shooting (despite the high block rate), Cleveland has reason to believe they are heading in the right direction. If they can figure out a way to not hire Mike Brown back, and get a good rotation with Thompson and Varejao both on the court at the same time, they can definitely make a case for contending for a playoff spot in the East next season. That eight seed is wide open for getting swept by Miami in 2014, Thompson and the Cavaliers might be just the team.

71) JEFF TEAGUE, ATLANTA HAWKS
I respect Jeff Teague for two reasons. One, he was on my infamous fantasy basketball team this past season. Two, I think Jeff Teague has got to be one of the most underrated cool names in the NBA today. The list of the coolest names in the league as of right now? Dwyane Wade (for spelling reasons, obvi), Marco Belinelli, Udonis Haslem, AK47, Acie Law (not sure if he is still in the league, definitely not taking the time to look that up), and Jeff Teague. Steve Blake is in dead last. 

Let's throw Teague's stat line at you. The point guard averaged a 15-2-7 a game this past season. Teague is evolving into one of the league's better point guards and one of the more efficient players. His 16.82 Hollinger PER number is right with guys like Paul George and Luis Scola. Its also worse than Chris Copeland, but I'm going to edit this sentence out before I post. But really, Teague is a point guard that gets overlooked, despite the fact that he is able to exist and play well with Josh Smith and that he can score. Teague also makes less than $2 million a year, something Atlanta can definitely build around. Teague was also sixth in assists this season in the entire league, and eighth in free throw percentage. And perhaps his best stat? According to win shares, through four seasons, his 6.1 is very close to David Wesley's 6.3. He is far behind Wesley's reckless driving mishaps though.

Teague was the catalyst for a pretty mediocre Hawks team that somehow took Indiana to six games in the playoffs. Teague set career highs in free throw shooting, points and assists, and he hits restricted free agency this season. As I mentioned above, Teague is an avid racist and has admitted to "hitting the bong every now and then, in between sleeping with whoever the fuck he wants". Just wanted to see if you were paying attention! That sentence won't appear until the Michael Beasley section.

As I mentioned above, Teague has a small, affordable contract, but has tons of potential and has shown he can orchestrate an offense. Whose to say some team isn't going to swoop in and steal him from Atlanta? In the same offseason that Josh Smith leaves? It very realistically could happen, and the Hawks front office needs to know the asset they have on their hands and truly see the value in Teague. They need to make sure he doesn't leave town as a restricted free agent. Not that it matters, Atlanta will definitely make the playoffs as the five or six seed again next season and no show the first round no matter who plays. For whatever reason, that is an NBA staple.

70) J.J. HICKSON, PORTLAND TRAILBLAZERS
So, let me get this off of my chest. I recently watched the story of the 2003-2004 Detroit Pistons championship season for some reason, and I have to say that Game 5 of that Pistons-Nets Conference Semifinals should get more PR. No one mentions that game, and it was triple overtime. Even though Detroit lost that game, Chauncey's three, from midcourt, to send it to overtime in the first place was insane! Billups made the shot look easy! No one mentions this game as it has fallen into the forgotten history of that 2003-06 Pistons dynasty. I used to hate them for being so good, I often forget that with the quick decline Detroit as a whole has taken in the past seven years. 

Anyway, J.J. Hickson was a tough player to rank for me. I could not decide where I wanted him to land on my list. I love the way he rebounds, and I love his mid-range jumper. I love his 20.00 PER. He is a big man who can score, too, posting 12.7 points a game. His per 36 minutes numbers speak for themselves. Remember, this dude is 6'9'' and 250 pounds. Per 36 minutes this past season, Hickson scored 15.8 points and grabbed 12.8 rebounds. That's almost 16-13 per 36 minutes. He played in 80 games. Hickson truly had a fantastic season, as the 24 year-old seems to have finally found himself a permanent home in Portland after playing for four teams in five seasons. Hickson has even improved on his accuracy, shooting 51% from the field this season and close to 70% from the line. Compare these numbers with his horrendous 37% from the field with the Kings last season (Hickson played for the Raptors, Kings and Blazers last season) and you can see the improvement.

I love Hickson. I think he is only going to climb this chart in the future. He is only 24, and has already logged 357 games in his career. Hickson's main problem was finding a home. He was drafted by the Cavaliers in 2008, and never really fit in. He has always shown talent and potential, but remember that this is the NBA we're talking about here, and general managers can only think four weeks in advance at a time. They also aren't quite sure yet how to make smart decisions. For example, mostly every basketball move made in Phoenix, Philadelphia, or Charlotte for the past decade. And Golden State (and most NBA teams) but we won't pick on them because they're getting all kinds of love on ESPN today as I write this.

Marc Jackson claimed today that the backcourt of Stephen Curry and Klay Thompson is the best shooting backcourt in the history of the NBA. The most insane part? Most of the comments I've heard since have nothing to do with backcourts. I can not tell you how many "Kobe/Shaq" and "MJ/Pippen" arguments I've endured TODAY. And I write this section at 3 in the afternoon! I think most casual fans don't grasp what a backcourt is, so we're doing a quick review here in NBA 101. Class, an NBA backcourt is 

• The point guard
• The shooting guard
• That's it

Scottie Pippen was a 

• Small forward

Shaq was a 

• Bad actor
• Center

Therefore, saying that either Shaq or Pippen were in an NBA backcourt is 

• False

That concludes our class today. In summary, J.J. Hickson has the physical specimen to become a top five center in the league any day now. I just hope he finds the right place and has the smarts. I think Portland might be his location. 

69) JEFF GREEN, BOSTON CELTICS
Jeff Green helped carry this team in the playoffs. He made sure the absence of Rondo did not result in a sweep at the hands of the rival New York Knicks. He stepped up as that guy, not Paul Pierce. I can't blame KG because I saw a lot of pride on the court with him. But I can say that Jeff Green made damn sure that the Celtics put up a fight in the postseason. The same Jeff Green who had heart surgery a year ago. A freaking year ago. 

Unfortunately, I don't weigh the playoffs into this thing. I do weigh heart surgeries and coming back from them to average a 13-4-2 a game in the season after. I do weigh stepping into the go-to scorer while Rondo was hurt, Pierce floundered, KG struggled offensively, Bradley struggled offensively and Boston lacked any consistency. Boston had so many moments this past season when they not only looked lost on what play to run, they looked like the forgot what game they were playing or where the hell they were. Boston looked lost without Rondo, and Uncle Jeff Green stepped up and provided as consistent a scorer the Celtics had all season. Also, don't think for a second I originally had Hickson up ahead of Green, only to change my ranking because Green has a cooler nickname. Uncle Jeff Green? That is literally the definition of cool in my book.

You know what else is cool about Uncle Jeff Green? Boston drafted him in 2007. They traded him to Seattle in 2007 in the Ray Allen deal. They went on to win a championship the following year. Than they traded Kendrick Perkins as his career was going south to Oklahoma City for Green and brought him back. So Green really only missed the two most important Celtics seasons since the early 90s. Whatever.

I love the way Jeff Green plays the game. I've rarely seen a guy so exhausted at the end of a regular season game the way Green is when he plays its entirety. Its great to see that passion, especially from a guy who has had to overcome so much just to get here and prove himself. And my favorite Jeff Green moment from this season was his outstanding 43 point, 7 rebound, 2 assist, 4 block and 2 steal game, on national television, against the Miami Heat. Oh, against the Miami Heat while they were on their record breaking threatening winning streak. Green was absolutely incredible in that game. There was nothing he couldn't do, and in a nutshell, that is Uncle Jeff Green. He can score, he can rebound, he can play defense, he hustles, he plays with heart, he does it all. He is as athletically gifted a small forward I've seen in years, and I hope his career only soars from here on out. And he is a Celtic. Thats saying something. My list of "liked" Celtics is as follows: 1) Larry Bird, 2) Bill Russell, 3) Doc Rivers, 4) Jeff Green, 5) Brian Scalabrine and 6) Rick Pitino. That list includes two coaches and one shitty player. Its safe to say that I don't like the Celtics. For the record, if I was doing Boston sports as a whole, that list would probably be the same, except add in David Ortiz and Manny Ramirez, and make it well know that Tom Brady is dead last.

68) O.J. MAYO, DALLAS MAVERICKS
Am I surprised that OJ Mayo made it this high up on the list? A little. But I'm the one doing the list, so how could I be surprised, you ask yourself? Well, here is a life lesson. Sometimes, you're going to surprise yourself. Do you think the victims behind the movie Pain and Gain knew they'd be made into a comedy done in complete shit by The Rock and Marky Mark when they were going through hell? Probably not. But Hollywood surprised them and showed them Hollywood doesn't give a shit about anything as long as they are making money. 

Hmm. In a lighter analogy, do you think Tim Taylor knew he loved Wilson so much before that episode where Wilson announces he is going to move to Ecuador? Of course not, but he surprised himself by finding out. Anyway, you get the point. And if you don't, just listen to me rant about OJ Mayo like you signed up for. Shit.

Mayo started this season on a much higher note than he finished it, which probably ended up dropping him ten or so spots. Mayo averaged twenty a game through the first month of the year, bottoming out at under ten (8.6) in April. Mayo has the talent, obviously, to perform at a high level in the league, but his attitude towards the game will likely hinder to him as a sixth man. And thats no diss, plenty of sixth men have gone to have legendary careers! Not that OJ Mayo will, which is a shame because his name is legendary as it is. 

But yeah, Mayo has explosiveness, agility, and can off in scoring bunches. He is a very efficient scorer, really. He won't play much defense, and as evident by his 20 PPG in November and 8.6 in crunch time in April, he is not consistent. He has a poor work ethic and demeanor. So is he a top 70 guy in the league? Sure he is, because lots of players are the same way but are a lot less talented. Mayo will be a great sixth man for a competitor next season, or a great scorer, bad teammate, detrimental dude for a shitty team. My bet is he becomes a great scorer, bad teammate, detrimental dude for a shitty team, like Phoenix or Sacramento. Ultimately, Mayo is a guy you'd love to have on your 2k team, because you're directly in charge of how often he touches the ball. Also, I think its about time I write a novel about my love for 2k. I think I've mentioned it somewhere between 45 and 6,222 times in these two parts already, and we've showed no signs of stopping. I at least deserve money from 2K Sports.

67) ERIC GORDON, NEW ORLEANS JAZZ HORNETS SAINTS LOUISIANA FAST PELICANS
Yeah, I was waiting since the beginning to make that joke for the first Pelicans player. 

Let me explain why Eric Gordon is up this high. Before the season, me and my one buddy decided to predict what eight teams would make the playoffs, where each would seed, how the second season would play out, and what players would win what award. Well, my obviously incoherent friend picked the Hornets (Pelicans, can this name change officially go through? From now on, I will refer to the NBA franchise in New Orleans as the league's ass) to make the playoffs in the loaded Western Conference as the eight seed. The insanity of this inane pick shocked me, even from my buddy. We make bold picks in our sleep (I did have the 29 win Detroit Pistons who employ Corey Maggette in the playoffs, to be fair), but I could not believe he picked the Hornets to make the playoffs. But, in the end, I was right and looked a lot more intelligent than I really am (I think I just insulted myself?) as the Hornets withered away as the league's ass. 1 for 2 ain't bad. 

So, in the midst of his hard-on for the Hornets, he was dumbfounded that I thought Eric Gordon would be the lone bright spot on the team. He was all about Anthony Davis (did make the First Team All-Rookie squad), Austin Rivers (might be shining my shoes in a few years), Ryan Anderson (spoiler alert: he's on this list!) and Jason Smith (for some reason. I'm not even commenting on his season it was so forgettable). He neglected to mention Greivis Vazquez or Gordon in his prediction! Arguably the two best guys on a shitty team were neglected in predicting a shitty team to be decent. I can't even do it justice and put it into words, so I hope that last sentence made some sense to you, because it made none to me. 

Eric Gordon only averaged 17 and 3 assists a night on a team stuck in NBA purgatory. As i write this, there are trade rumors surrounding the shooting guard who makes just under $4 million a year. There is supposedly talk of Gordon getting shipped back to the Clippers. This half explains why he is ranked so high, and half explains why he didn't crack this list a few spots higher. The reason for the latter is because the Clippers are desperate right now, fresh off another disappointing playoff exit. Desperate teams make dumb moves, and getting Gordon would end up being a dumb move, no matter how great a deal it was. Also, for the record, if the 76ers were to trade Thad Young and Evan Turner for Blake Griffin, I would burn all of my team merchandise on Sam Hinkle's front yard. I am not thrilled about the hire of Hinkle as GM as it is, him making some mediocre move that screws up team chemistry and brings in one of my least favorite players in the league will only do him more harm. Take my advice Hinkle: SIGN CHRIS PAUL!

Anywho, Eric Gordon ladies and gents!

66) KAWHI LEONARD, SAN ANTONIO SPURS
By now I am sure you have all realized that it takes me for-fucking-ever to write these things. But hey, fuck it. Fuck it, dog! I have a filter on here, so I can say fuck! And I have other things going on in life! And I don't get paid! But I'm not here to start trouble. I want peace in this blogging world I've created. All I'm saying is that I think I created my rank about a month ago, started writing the sections for part two like three weeks ago, and from where I am writing at this moment, probably won't post this until two weeks from now. So, hi future readers!

But, my main point of this is that I guess this is sort of a running blog. In the beginning of this post, I wrote about that toilet that got clogged. Yeah, that happened a while ago. So, tonight, the Knicks are getting there asses whooped by the Pacers. Well, more like the Knicks are whooping their own asses and Indiana happens to be the other team on the court. I couldn't go without mentioning how horrendous this Knicks team turned out to be. I need to bring it up because I fell into their trap. I picked against them in the Boston series, and when I was proven wrong, I jumped on their bandwagon. I thought they had a slim chance to beat this Indiana team in seven games. The painfully obvious truth is that they can't, and that they can't beat any respectable defense. 

New York relies on making bad shots, and when they play great defenses that force bad shots, its like they forget how to make those bad shots. JR Smith, at one stretch in Game 4, had played in 19 minutes, and had taken 13 shots. He had made 2 of them. JR Smith should not have made this list on the count of being such a huge asshole and cocky shitbag. That is the meanest sentence I have ever written about anyone, and I don't even personally know JR Smith. But I feel that strongly against him as a basketball player. I love the game of basketball, I love the NBA, I loveeee the NBA playoffs, I hate watching a cocky, overrated player like JR Smith.

That being said, Kawhi Leonard is the exact opposite. Leonard is soft-spoken, humble, coachable and a great teammate (everything JR Smith shies away from). I love everything about the guy and would love to see the 76ers make a move for him. However, I don't think the Spurs organization will let him go. They are starting to realize they are at the tail end of an incredible era behind a soft-spoken and humble teammate (TIMMY D!). They might want Leonard to take Duncan's shoes and lead this organization when the greatest power forward of all time retires. And I really think Leonard can handle that.

I'm not saying that I think Kawhi Leonard is the next Tim Duncan. I am saying he has the tools to take over a respectable organization like San Antonio. He shot close to 50% from the field in the regular season, averaging 12 points a night. He understands what it takes to be a great teammate, playing a major part in the Spurs winding up as the two seed out West. I just really love everything about his game, personality and name. The NBA needs the first great Kawhi.

65) GREIVIS VASQUEZ, NEW ORLEANS PELICANS
You're looking at the deserving winner of the 2013 Most Improved Player of the Year That Never Was. Vasquez completely turned his game around this past season, yet he was not recognized for it. He even had to do it while playing for the ShitShow on Ice that is the New Orleans NBA franchise. You may also be noticing a theme about the Hornets and how much I can't stand them. I hate how David Stern screwed everything Chris Paul/New Orleans, and I hate that they are becoming the fucking Pelicans instead of swapping names with the Utah Jazz. Notice how few Jazz players are on this list at the end and you'll see my glaring dislike for that franchise as well. If you're going to own an NBA franchise, try and make it exciting. This league is about excitement. If I want to watch something that is boring, lackluster, will have a few "I wonder if they were serious about that whole cinnamon challenge being dangerous thing" moments and pay money for it, I'll gladly rent Zookeeper on my tv. 

Anyway, my main greivisance (lol) with Vasquez not winning Most Improved is that he added five points to his PPG and nearly doubled his rebounds and assists per game, as well as leading the entire league in assists! That is awesome, give that guy an award! If not only for his wacky name, acknowledge the fact that he led the league in assists in his first season as a starter! I really see a ton of potential in this guy, and so does Bill Simmons. He included him in his annual trade value column (which took about as long as a Jamie Moyer outing to come out) and I love that. Of course now you can take his ACL injury to the bank for next season, but lets try and relish in the 2013 Vasquez!

Now I know Paul George also had a fantastic season, and definitely deserved MIP, but Monty Williams (head coach of the Pelicans for all of you who definitely did not know "It's unfortunate that Paul had a great year also. The one thing we've talked to our guys about is when we lose something, to be gracious to the guy who won." I mean if that doesn't sound like something your kindergarten teacher told you, I don't know what to tell you. This pretty much sums up the future of the Hornets- soft play and a shitty coach because the organization is a crapshoot. At least they are going to ruin my man Greivis Vasquez's career.

64) MO WILLIAMS, UTAH JAZZ
There is a real possibility that Mo Williams will lose his starting point guard job in Utah to Jamal Tinsley. That is like The Price is Right bringing back Bob Barker to replace Drew Carey. Barker is past his prime and really old, Drew Carey might not be the best replacement but he gets the job done and has age and personality on his side. Mo Williams is younger than Tinsley, better than Tinsley and all around the more reasonable choice to get (keep) the starting job in Utah.

I admit this analogy is not my best work because I'd be all for bringing Bob Barker back. No one will ever be a better game show host than Bob Barker, unless Nathan Fielder gets his show. Than I'm on board.

Mo Williams is one of the most underrated point guards in the league today. You forget about the guy for a few reasons. One, he plays for the Utah Jazz. You probably haven't thought about them since I mentioned them a few paragraphs back or since you were rooting for them by default to make the playoffs over the Lakers. Otherwise, probably not in a few years. Two, he had thumb surgery so his season was somewhat hindered and more forgettable. Although, he did still average 13 points and 7 assists a game. Three, Williams has played for six different teams since he left Utah after his first season back in 2003. Mo Williams and NBA teams go together like Travis Henry and mothers to his children. Finally, Mo Williams pisses a lot of people off because he makes far more than he's worth. Yet he is still underrated. No one ever talks about Williams when talking about the best point guards in the league.

I think I would say Mo Williams is in my top 15 point guards in the league. My top eleven, in no order, goes CP3, Tony Parker, Russell Westbrook, Derrick Rose, Rajon Rondo, Stepehen Curry, Kyrie Irving, Deron Williams, John Wall, Mike Conley, Jrue Holiday, Ty Lawson, George Hill, Damian Lillard, Brandon Jennings and than Mo Williams. And we'll throw Vasquez in that fire, rounding out the top 15. I like Williams, and I think he is a reliable and intelligent point guard. He averages under three turnovers a game, gets one steal a game, and quietly does his business in Utah. He is an unrestricted free agent this offseason, and I really don't think the Jazz are going to bring him back.

They do need to cut some cap room, but still, they can do that elsewhere. Williams carries that big price tag, but so do most point guards. I really don't know if they expect Jamal Tinsley to average 13 and 7 a night, but he is not going to do that unless a package of deer antler spray is found in the Tinsley household. 

63) JR SMITH, NEW YORK KNICKS
You know that feeling of when you come home and you're in a bad mood, and someone in your family asks you a really important question? Now, normally you can answer that question pretty reasonably, but since you're in a bad mood, you might not give the best response.

"Honey, can we cancel those plans we had with the neighbors and visit my mother this weekend. It is Mother's Day and we haven't seen her since she got evicted."

"Are you kidding me? We haven't seen our neighbors since they came out for my birthday. Do you want us to give the impression that we use them so they can fucking rob our house the next time we ask them to get our mail? Maybe if you're mother could avoid getting evicted, we could have the neighbors over her house!"

See how ugly that looked? Well, thats where this section is going to go on JR Smith. I'm particularly unhappy with JR Smith after his postseason flop, and although I know I am not supposed to mention anything playoffs in this ranking, I might not be able to hold it all back.

This section should be upbeat and positive. JR won the 2013 Sixth Man of the Year Award. 
He averaged 18 points, 5 rebounds, 3 assists and 2 steals a game this season. That is a great line! He undoubtably helped the Knicks secure the two seed in the East and was a big part in helping lift them over the Celtics in the first round. Smith had a great regular season, and he should be acknowledged for that.

Now, that being said, let me at least throw out there that he is shooting 28% in the playoffs as I type this! That is insane. That is all I will mention from the playoffs because I am blind to them for these rankings. After all, I did the rankings before they started and look! Smith almost cracked the 50s! So, I have to forgive that 28% and move on. Smith can score in streaks, and is probably the best "bad-shot, goes in anyway" shooter in the whole damn league. He might be cocky, selfish and a straight up thug, but he can score like MJ at times. That's the biggest flaw in his game (even ignoring the postseason I've mentioned), is that he is so inconstant that he will never be anything more than a sixth man who can average 18 a game. Until Charlotte gives him a 5 year deal for $65 million to start. Or New York might just throw that at him, who knows.

JR Smith is as controversial as they come in this league. He is an asset to a Knicks team that sometimes can't scrounge together any offense at all. He is an asset because he can chuck up threes from the ground, and they still go in sometimes. He takes bad shots, and makes them look easy, and hits them. But when he isn't making them, he is dreadful. If I were to ignore all of the bad shots he takes and makes, honestly, he might not have made this list. But, I can't focus on how I feel about him today and I need to dwell on the prolific scorer that he is. JR Smith, you've won this one. Ya punk!

62) GORAN DRAGIC, PHOENIX SUNS
Its a shame that Dragic landed on a Phoenix Suns team that so desperately lacks consistency, offensive threats and leadership. Dragic has the tools to be a top ten point guard, in my opinion, and he will only look good on my annual rankings if he stays in Phoenix. Hey, thats an honor though! Its a long line at the door for the Top 100 Players int he NBA Today as Told by the Folks at the Nugget Blog line. Trust me, we turn people away all day. 

Dragic averaged 15 points, 3 boards, 2 steals, and almost 8 assists on a futile Suns team. Put Dragic on, say, the Cetlics (who were lacking a point guard all season because of Rajon Toolbag's injury and the lack of depth at the position. Boston looked lost all year without him. I'm pretty sure the timeout huddles were completely silent between the lack of direction and Doc's voice being lost from shouting at the ineptitude on the court.) and he might just average ten assists a game. Realistically, Rondo will be back so that move won't work, but maybe put him on the Lakers when Nash retires, or literally any team with at least one or two offensive threats, and Dragic thrives. I really am pulling for him to leave the Suns, not only because of the shit that surrounds him, but also so he can get out of Nash's shadow. Nash was the awkward, white, flashy point guard on the Suns, Dragic doesn't need to be too. 

For the rest of my Goran Dragic section, I want you guys to watch this video. Yes, it is 15 minutes, but is so worth it. Trust me, you'll be hooked from the beginning when Dragic, himself, claims "I don't want to be like Steve Nash...I want to be Goran Dragic." Listen to that inner struggle! The man wants to be himself! Phoenix, man up, and trade him! Think of the boy!

61) KLAY THOMPSON, GOLDEN STATE WARRIORS
Now, I know what you're thinking. Klay Thompson only averaged 17-4-2 this season. Plenty of players put up better stats than that! What are you basing these rankings off of!

Calm down, reader. I realize that stats wise, Klay Thompson might not have been the 61st best player in the league this season. But you know what, I'd rather have Klay Thompson on my team over any of the players I have already named. Hands down. Even after my love affair over Dragic. Here are a few more stats to back up my man Klay. He shot 42% from the field and 40% from beyond the arc. He played 36 minutes a game and started every single game. His 211 three pointers made was good enough for third best in the league. His 2936 minutes played ranked him ninth in the league. Basically, Klay Thompson is the definition of durable and complete. I like durability and complete games on my team.

Thompson can rip off eight point bunches, forcing the opposing coach to call a timeout all by himself. He can hit three three's in a row. He can hit a three from the side or straight ahead. He can play defense, he is actually pretty underrated there. He can shoot efficiently (unlike Austin Rivers. Rivers-0, Pat-4) and he grabs boards. He is also only 22. He has so much potential and such a great future ahead of him if he stays healthy. Thats the only place where playing all of those minutes worries me. Especially in a season somewhat defined by injuries (those injuries are the only way Vince Carter was making the list! Maybe next season T-Mac will). Although medicine is better than it ever was, the game is as physical as it ever was, too. Thompson seems to be durable and intelligent and physical. I like that combination.

Klay Thompson and Stephen Curry might be the best duo in basketball in, say, three years. LeBron will have already left for LA or back to Cleveland (you know you wish I was right), Kobe will be out of the league, and there really is no other duo that can outshoot these two guys. CP3 and Blake Griffin better not have popped into your heads! I'm going to lose sleep hoping that it didn't. 

But in the end, Klay Thompson is so close to the complete package (if he could improve his rebounding numbers a little bit, and maybe his inside game slightly, he'd be as close to complete as you can get without being inhuman) that he deserves this spot. His numbers might not speak volume because of how spread out his game is across all aspects of hoops, but that is better than being so narrowly defined in my book. I'd rather a guy who gives me 17 points, 5 rebounds, 5 assists, a couple steals or blocks, great defense and awesome hustle every night than a guy who goes off for 30. Yet, Carmelo Anthony still ranks above Klay Thompson? Hmmm....

60) JOE JOHNSON, BROOKLYN NETS
What a way to round out part two than with the guy who I kept debating on the most. Did i overrate or underrate this guy? Comments are more than welcome on this whole thing (especially real ones, the spam ones just are too personal) but specifically on Joe Johnson. I really still don't know how I feel about having him at #60, because I could take arguments for him being ten spots higher or thirty spots lower. Hmm, I guess since I feel that way, I probably stuck him up too high. Oh well, I'll only think about this for a week or so. 

All in all, Johnson's stat line looks like this for 2013: 16 points, 3 rebounds, 4 assists a game. He started all of the 72 games he played in, and shot 42% from the field, 38% from three and 82% from the line. He had his worst rebounding season of his career. And yet, he made $18 million this season. If that doesn't make you want to throw up in your mouth, you must be Joe Johnson. 

But to accurately look at Johnson's season, you have to look past that initial stat line. He had his worst rebounding season ever, and arguably his worst defensive season ever as well. That shows lack of effort to me. I truly believe Johnson falls into the unfortunately too big category of "NBA players with loads of talent who got paid too soon in their careers, ended up on the wrong team, and would be superstars if the situation was different". Johnson got fucked by the Suns and hasn't found a stable home for his career since, but has been paid like a surgeon since. He has never had any incentive to give his all. He didn't play up to his potential this season, yet he was on a playoff team, scored almost 20 a night, and made almost $20 million. I mean, show me where his motivation could come from and I'll scold him for playing the way he did. Johnson is a five tool player who has no incentive to play up to that because he got paid too early in his career. Its something the NBA should fix before even thinking about expansion, which shouldn't be thought about anyway. 

SO, that's part 2! Part 3 should be ready by July 4th so you have something to read on your iPad when you're avoiding that annoying second cousin at the family BBQ! See you then! USA! USA! USA!