1. Seattle Seahawks (LW-1) (-)
Seattle came, saw and conquered on Thursday night against a Packers team that should be in contention to at least win the NFC North this year. Marshawn Lynch got my fantasy team a solid 25 points and Russell Wilson looked like a perennial MVP. This Seahawks team really should get comfortable in this number one slot.
2. San Francisco 49ers (LW-2) (-)
They might have played the lowly Cowboys but I was still impressed by the 49ers dominance on defense this Sunday. Tony Romo didn't make good decisions and that is what ESPN focused on, but Frank Gore played well, Colin Kaepernick had a great game and the defense does deserve a good bit of credit for forcing Romo into those bad choices.
3. Denver Broncos (LW-3) (-)
The Broncos can thank Julius Thomas for showing up on Sunday night. In other news, Peyton Manning has now beaten all 32 teams in the NFL, something only himself and Brett Favre can claim. I think Vinny Testaverde would be the mirror quarterback here.
4. Indianpolis Colts (LW-4) (-)
The Colts stay here mostly by default because almost every team in the top ten but outside of the top three lost this week. On a bright side, though, the Colts did nearly come back to beat Denver had they even remotely had a running game. You know what I learned on The Dan Patrick Show on Monday morning? Peyton Manning's longest career run is 33 yards whereas Trent Richardson's is 32 yards. Let that sink in.
5. Cincinnati Bengals (LW-10) (Up5)
The Bengals went into Baltimore and only trailed for 48 seconds in the entire game. Andy Dalton outplayed Joe Flacco and AJ Green had a patented AJ Green 77 yard touchdown. The defense shut down the Ravens running game and forced a few Flacco interceptions. This is the game plan for this Bengals team. It revolves around defense first and Dalton not messing up.
6. New England Patriots (LW-5) (Down1)
For the first time in the Tom Brady and Bill Belichik era, the Patriots are alone in last place. 0-1 never felt so low.
7. Green Bay Packers (LW-6) (Down1)
We can't really fault this Packers team for losing to Seattle in Seattle in their first game after winning their first Super Bowl as a franchise. We can fault this Packers team for being demolished by the Seahawks. However, I still like this offense and I still think they can play just enough defense to contend in the NFC. Eddie Lacy better be healthy though.
8. New Orleans Saints (LW-8) (-)
A lot of hype surrounding the Falcons team that the Saints blew a big lead to and lost in overtime on the road to. Again, it is too early in the season to start belittling these top tier teams. So if you're reading this, promise me one thing. In this world of hate and sin, don't overreact to anything you saw in Week 1.
9. Philadelphia Eagles (LW-12) (Up3)
This might be me overreacting to something I saw in Week 1. In other news, could Nick Foles be the real deal? Will the real Nick Foles please stand up. In the first half of the Eagles game on Sunday, fans were calling for Mark Sanchez to come in and now they are glad they finally have a real starting quarterback in Nick Foles. As a Philly fan (Eagles comes second to the Ravens, but Philly in all other regards), I can call us all stupid, passionate morons because we are all stupid, passionate morons.
10. Chicago Bears (LW-7) (Down3)
Hmm. The Bears lost at home to Buffalo, which in turn eliminated me from my family survivor pool in the first fucking week of the season. So, excuse me for a being a little bitter and feeling a little betrayed by my Bears. However, Jay Cutler did give me a solid 25 points towards my fantasy team's dominance in our first game. Spirals for Schaub is running the table and we're doing it with Jay Cutler as our quarterback. As for the Bears, they need to find their identity on defense and Cutler has got to stop dressing up like Tony Romo every other week.
11. San Diego Chargers (LW-11) (-)
San Diego did nothing to make me refuse believing in them. They lost by one point on the road to a very good Cardinals team. They didn't cover Michael Floyd well at all. I still think this team has a ton of potential to make a playoff run this season.
12. Arizona Cardinals (LW-14) (Up2)
Sure, I moved this team up two because their secondary might just be the best in football outside of northwest Washington. But is it me or is it hard to believe in a team led by Carson Palmer in 2014?
13. Baltimore Ravens (LW-9) (Down4)
I'm disappointed in my team's response to this entire Ray Rice shitshow. I wish they had reacted to the actual act and not to the public outcry and release of a video showing what we already knew. Still, football will be played this season. The release of Ray Rice in terms of purely football terms hurts this offense significantly. This means a bigger role for Bernard Pierce and we might also see more Lorenzo Taliaferro, which might actually be a good thing.
14. Pittsburgh Steelers (LW-13) (Down1)
Pittsburgh moves down because they almost blew a 24 point halftime lead at home to the Cleveland Browns. It was a tale of two halves and I evaluated the second half more importantly, although Big Ben's game winning drive was circa 2006 Roethlisberger.
15. Detroit Lions (LW-15) (-)
Detroit needs to beat a team that isn't totally revamping their offense or led by a quarterback who looks like he's a Lions spy giving up the game. The Lions tore the Giants apart on Monday night on national television, but I didn't want to move them up because the Lions have screwed me over before. Again, its just Week 1. Do I really think Matthew Stafford and Calvin Johnson can do what they did on Monday night week in and week out? Yes. But I need to start seeing that in order to move them up. This team does have the potential to win the NFC North.
16. Atlanta Falcons (LW-17) (Down1)
People are saying that Matt Ryan is back but he never really left. He just got his offense back. Austin Powers got his MOJO back and Matt Ryan just got his offense back, the two are obviously interchangeable. Actually, I would love to see Matt Ryan as Austin Powers in a new movie. Matty Powers is the new coolest idea for a movie character I've ever had.
17. Carolina Panthers (LW-19) (Up2)
Derek Anderson was a Raven at one point and he has now looked pretty good for an entire season in Cleveland and in his fifteen seconds of fame replacing Cam Newton in a win over Tampa Bay. Do I love Joe Flacco, sure. Wait, what am I doing? Am I trying to talk myself into regretting ever letting go of Derek Anderson? This week has been tough as a Ravens fan.
18. New York Jets (LW-18) (-)
This is the perfect example of leaving a team be for a few weeks. They beat the Raiders. Ten bucks says this Jets team starts free falling in three, two, one....
19. Miami Dolphins (LW-20) (Up1)
Miami has Tom Brady's number. He is 6-7 all-time in Miami. The Dolphins rallied back from a rough first half and were, in my opinion, the most impressive comeback of all the comebacks in Week 1.
20. Houston Texans (LW-22) (Up2)
The Texans defense looked like the 12-4 Texans defense. I am really loving this Houston team and feel like we are going to see a lot of 17-6 wins as this team moves up the ranks this season. I like Houston as my sleeper to make the postseason, especially if the Ravens and Steelers play like they did this week all season. Although, don't sleep on this Clowney injury ruining my Texans.
21. Kansas City Chiefs (LW-16) (Down5)
I wasn't sold on Kansas City before the season and with all the injuries they suffered and the way Jamaal Charles played on Sunday, I am even more skeptical of this team. They won eleven games last season with the easiest schedule in the history of ever, this team might not win six games in 2014.
22. Minnesota Vikings (LW-23) (Up1)
Cordarelle Patterson is making me look like a genius when I'm really just a small town boy, born and raised in South Detroit. Anyway, the Vikings offense lit up a Rams defense that might be among the better groups in the league this season. That's enough to move this team up one spot for now.
23. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (LW-22) (Down1)
They did lose to Derek Anderson and a bunch of receivers who had played roughly the same amount of professional football as I have coming into the game on Sunday, and it was at home. But I think for anyone who thinks this team could be a playoff contender, let Josh McCown sink in. He has never had as much pressure as he does right now.
24. Tennessee Titans (LW-28) (Up4)
If Tennessee's defense can dominate games like they did in Kansas City, this team could honestly somehow find themselves in the playoffs. Remember, the Titans were a seven win team in 2013 and were in postseason contention until the very end of the season.
25. Buffalo Bills (LW-31) (Up6)
Our week's biggest jump, the Bills of Buffalo were not only just purchased by the owner of the Sabres, they also marched into the Windy City and picked up an overtime win over one of the best offenses in football. However, I still think this is as far as they come in 2014, so enjoy the 25th slot, Bills fans.
26. Dallas Cowboys (LW-27) (Up1)
How do you turn the ball over four times, lose at home, watch your star quarterback throw three interceptions in the first half and watch your star receiver walk off the field late in the game because he is dehydrated in week freaking one in a DOME and STILL wind up moving up in the rankings? Read about the teams to follow and you tell me.
27. WashingtonRedskins Native Americans with Skin (LW-26) (Down1)
Kirk Cousins may find himself the starter before we know it, and I never thought I'd be admitting that. RGIII simply is not a pocket passer and if that is what Jay Gruden wants, than he should use Griffin as trade bait and stop trying to turn him into something that he isn't.
28. New York Giants (LW-25) (Down3)
The skid might just keep rolling for the Giants, who looked about as overwhelmed as Buzz Lightyear in Pizza Planet. If they can't figure out this offense soon, the Giants will find themselves looking for a new head coach for the first time in years.
29. Jacksonville Jaguars (LW-29) (-)
I am not budging on the Jaguars because I really don't know how. In the first half against the Eagles, on the road mind you, Chad Henne looked like a Pro Bowler and the Jaguars held a 17-0 lead on possibly the best offense in the NFC. And in the second half, Chad Henne looked like a chicken with his head cut off, overthrowing Mercedes Lewis on a wide open 4th down pass that sealed the deal on the loss. Allen Hurns was a bright spot, though.
30. Cleveland Browns (LW-30) (-)
So many of these teams are hard to place somewhere because of their bipolar play on Sunday. The Browns should be ranked last based on their first half against Pittsburgh and very well could be in the top tier of the league if they could consistently play like they did in the second half. Knowing the Browns, I'm banking on more of that first half play when Brian Hoyer is your quarterback.
31. Oakland Raiders (LW-32) (-)
Hey, Raider Nation! David Carr just got you out of the cellar! Or maybe....
32. St. Louis Rams (LW-24) (Down8)
....the Rams ShitShow on Ice simply bumped you guys out. The fact that they need to search past Shaun Hill on the depth chart for a starting quarterback for Sunday's game in Tampa Bay might give you the answer.
Look for my Crystal Ball Picks later this week but before Thursday's soul crushing Ravens game!
We can't really fault this Packers team for losing to Seattle in Seattle in their first game after winning their first Super Bowl as a franchise. We can fault this Packers team for being demolished by the Seahawks. However, I still like this offense and I still think they can play just enough defense to contend in the NFC. Eddie Lacy better be healthy though.
8. New Orleans Saints (LW-8) (-)
A lot of hype surrounding the Falcons team that the Saints blew a big lead to and lost in overtime on the road to. Again, it is too early in the season to start belittling these top tier teams. So if you're reading this, promise me one thing. In this world of hate and sin, don't overreact to anything you saw in Week 1.
9. Philadelphia Eagles (LW-12) (Up3)
This might be me overreacting to something I saw in Week 1. In other news, could Nick Foles be the real deal? Will the real Nick Foles please stand up. In the first half of the Eagles game on Sunday, fans were calling for Mark Sanchez to come in and now they are glad they finally have a real starting quarterback in Nick Foles. As a Philly fan (Eagles comes second to the Ravens, but Philly in all other regards), I can call us all stupid, passionate morons because we are all stupid, passionate morons.
10. Chicago Bears (LW-7) (Down3)
Hmm. The Bears lost at home to Buffalo, which in turn eliminated me from my family survivor pool in the first fucking week of the season. So, excuse me for a being a little bitter and feeling a little betrayed by my Bears. However, Jay Cutler did give me a solid 25 points towards my fantasy team's dominance in our first game. Spirals for Schaub is running the table and we're doing it with Jay Cutler as our quarterback. As for the Bears, they need to find their identity on defense and Cutler has got to stop dressing up like Tony Romo every other week.
11. San Diego Chargers (LW-11) (-)
San Diego did nothing to make me refuse believing in them. They lost by one point on the road to a very good Cardinals team. They didn't cover Michael Floyd well at all. I still think this team has a ton of potential to make a playoff run this season.
12. Arizona Cardinals (LW-14) (Up2)
Sure, I moved this team up two because their secondary might just be the best in football outside of northwest Washington. But is it me or is it hard to believe in a team led by Carson Palmer in 2014?
13. Baltimore Ravens (LW-9) (Down4)
I'm disappointed in my team's response to this entire Ray Rice shitshow. I wish they had reacted to the actual act and not to the public outcry and release of a video showing what we already knew. Still, football will be played this season. The release of Ray Rice in terms of purely football terms hurts this offense significantly. This means a bigger role for Bernard Pierce and we might also see more Lorenzo Taliaferro, which might actually be a good thing.
14. Pittsburgh Steelers (LW-13) (Down1)
Pittsburgh moves down because they almost blew a 24 point halftime lead at home to the Cleveland Browns. It was a tale of two halves and I evaluated the second half more importantly, although Big Ben's game winning drive was circa 2006 Roethlisberger.
15. Detroit Lions (LW-15) (-)
Detroit needs to beat a team that isn't totally revamping their offense or led by a quarterback who looks like he's a Lions spy giving up the game. The Lions tore the Giants apart on Monday night on national television, but I didn't want to move them up because the Lions have screwed me over before. Again, its just Week 1. Do I really think Matthew Stafford and Calvin Johnson can do what they did on Monday night week in and week out? Yes. But I need to start seeing that in order to move them up. This team does have the potential to win the NFC North.
16. Atlanta Falcons (LW-17) (Down1)
People are saying that Matt Ryan is back but he never really left. He just got his offense back. Austin Powers got his MOJO back and Matt Ryan just got his offense back, the two are obviously interchangeable. Actually, I would love to see Matt Ryan as Austin Powers in a new movie. Matty Powers is the new coolest idea for a movie character I've ever had.
17. Carolina Panthers (LW-19) (Up2)
Derek Anderson was a Raven at one point and he has now looked pretty good for an entire season in Cleveland and in his fifteen seconds of fame replacing Cam Newton in a win over Tampa Bay. Do I love Joe Flacco, sure. Wait, what am I doing? Am I trying to talk myself into regretting ever letting go of Derek Anderson? This week has been tough as a Ravens fan.
18. New York Jets (LW-18) (-)
This is the perfect example of leaving a team be for a few weeks. They beat the Raiders. Ten bucks says this Jets team starts free falling in three, two, one....
19. Miami Dolphins (LW-20) (Up1)
Miami has Tom Brady's number. He is 6-7 all-time in Miami. The Dolphins rallied back from a rough first half and were, in my opinion, the most impressive comeback of all the comebacks in Week 1.
20. Houston Texans (LW-22) (Up2)
The Texans defense looked like the 12-4 Texans defense. I am really loving this Houston team and feel like we are going to see a lot of 17-6 wins as this team moves up the ranks this season. I like Houston as my sleeper to make the postseason, especially if the Ravens and Steelers play like they did this week all season. Although, don't sleep on this Clowney injury ruining my Texans.
21. Kansas City Chiefs (LW-16) (Down5)
I wasn't sold on Kansas City before the season and with all the injuries they suffered and the way Jamaal Charles played on Sunday, I am even more skeptical of this team. They won eleven games last season with the easiest schedule in the history of ever, this team might not win six games in 2014.
22. Minnesota Vikings (LW-23) (Up1)
Cordarelle Patterson is making me look like a genius when I'm really just a small town boy, born and raised in South Detroit. Anyway, the Vikings offense lit up a Rams defense that might be among the better groups in the league this season. That's enough to move this team up one spot for now.
23. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (LW-22) (Down1)
They did lose to Derek Anderson and a bunch of receivers who had played roughly the same amount of professional football as I have coming into the game on Sunday, and it was at home. But I think for anyone who thinks this team could be a playoff contender, let Josh McCown sink in. He has never had as much pressure as he does right now.
24. Tennessee Titans (LW-28) (Up4)
If Tennessee's defense can dominate games like they did in Kansas City, this team could honestly somehow find themselves in the playoffs. Remember, the Titans were a seven win team in 2013 and were in postseason contention until the very end of the season.
25. Buffalo Bills (LW-31) (Up6)
Our week's biggest jump, the Bills of Buffalo were not only just purchased by the owner of the Sabres, they also marched into the Windy City and picked up an overtime win over one of the best offenses in football. However, I still think this is as far as they come in 2014, so enjoy the 25th slot, Bills fans.
26. Dallas Cowboys (LW-27) (Up1)
How do you turn the ball over four times, lose at home, watch your star quarterback throw three interceptions in the first half and watch your star receiver walk off the field late in the game because he is dehydrated in week freaking one in a DOME and STILL wind up moving up in the rankings? Read about the teams to follow and you tell me.
27. Washington
Kirk Cousins may find himself the starter before we know it, and I never thought I'd be admitting that. RGIII simply is not a pocket passer and if that is what Jay Gruden wants, than he should use Griffin as trade bait and stop trying to turn him into something that he isn't.
28. New York Giants (LW-25) (Down3)
The skid might just keep rolling for the Giants, who looked about as overwhelmed as Buzz Lightyear in Pizza Planet. If they can't figure out this offense soon, the Giants will find themselves looking for a new head coach for the first time in years.
29. Jacksonville Jaguars (LW-29) (-)
I am not budging on the Jaguars because I really don't know how. In the first half against the Eagles, on the road mind you, Chad Henne looked like a Pro Bowler and the Jaguars held a 17-0 lead on possibly the best offense in the NFC. And in the second half, Chad Henne looked like a chicken with his head cut off, overthrowing Mercedes Lewis on a wide open 4th down pass that sealed the deal on the loss. Allen Hurns was a bright spot, though.
30. Cleveland Browns (LW-30) (-)
So many of these teams are hard to place somewhere because of their bipolar play on Sunday. The Browns should be ranked last based on their first half against Pittsburgh and very well could be in the top tier of the league if they could consistently play like they did in the second half. Knowing the Browns, I'm banking on more of that first half play when Brian Hoyer is your quarterback.
31. Oakland Raiders (LW-32) (-)
Hey, Raider Nation! David Carr just got you out of the cellar! Or maybe....
32. St. Louis Rams (LW-24) (Down8)
....the Rams ShitShow on Ice simply bumped you guys out. The fact that they need to search past Shaun Hill on the depth chart for a starting quarterback for Sunday's game in Tampa Bay might give you the answer.
Look for my Crystal Ball Picks later this week but before Thursday's soul crushing Ravens game!
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment