NFL 2014 Crystal Ball Picks- Week 3

The over/under for NFL players arrested, suspended, benched and/or deported for this week is 8.5, take the over.

Thursday, September 18, 2014
Tampa Bay Buccaneers @ Atlanta Falcons
My Pick: Atlanta   Fantasy Impact Player: Matt Ryan
Austin Davis > Josh McCown, therefore Matt Ryan >>>>> Josh McCown. Poor Lovie Smith. How long do you think he'll stay in Tampa before finally deciding that he is stuck in some horrible vortex with an overrated veteran quarterback and a bunch of one hit wonder players? Oh, yeah, he probably already did, never mind.

Sunday, September 21, 2014
Baltimore Ravens @ Cleveland Browns
My Pick: Baltimore   Fantasy Impact Player: Dennis Pitta
I like the Ravens even though this game is in Cleveland an apparently anyone can lose in Cleveland this season. Plus, AFC North games are tough to decide, but I just think the Ravens are riding a hot streak after an impressive and dominating win in Pittsburgh and a long week's rest. 

San Diego Chargers @ Buffalo Bills
My Pick: San Diego   Fantasy Impact Player: Phillip Rivers
I'm not totally sold on this pick especially because Ryan Matthews is hurt now. That will really hurt this Chargers offense, but even more so I just don't know how to peg this Bills team. If the reincarnated ACC offense keeps up the pace, this could be a shootout and than why count out the home team? No, I am coming off my correct pick in the Chargers-Seahawks game, I can't go back on my Super Chargers now.

Dallas Cowboys @ St. Louis Rams
My Pick: St. Louis   Fantasy Impact Player: Zac Stacy
The Cowboys defense has to implode on itself sooner or later. This defense was projected to be the worst in history. If we projected our next President to be the worst one ever, would he really be able to outlast those expectations for his entire term? Can the Cowboys defense really outplay absolutely zero expectations the whole season? What a better time to stop than against Austin Davis, right?

Washington Redskins @ Philadelphia Eagles
My Pick: Philadelphia   Fantasy Impact Player: Kirk Cousins
How many fantasy teams have jumped at the bits to pick up Kirk Cousins? Every league has that guy who goes week to week picking up the one hit wonders, like Alex Hurns earlier this season. But why do that when if you Google Alex Hurns, a LinkedIn profile comes up? Speaking of which, Alex Rodriguez apparently has created a LinkedIn profile. Is that the best news you've heard all day, too?

Houston Texans @ New York Giants
My Pick: Houston   Fantasy Impact Player: Just Don't Play Eli Manning, Ever
I hope JJ Watt makes a big play on special teams this week so he can be the first three tool player in football in recent memory. I also think the Giants should try their hand at a three tool player and throw Eli in the secondary just because hey, they're 0-2.

Minnesota Vikings @ New Orleans Saints
My Pick: New Orleans   Fantasy Impact Player: Drew Bress
I love dome Drew Brees. Also, the Saints were basically thrown out of the league when word got out that they were playing players bonuses for making big hits, resulting in huge sanctions and suspensions for the coaching staff. The Vikings star running back Adrian Peterson hasn't gotten anything yet even though he punished his son with a tree branch. Again, Roger Goodell should be fired like, right now.

Tennessee Titans @ Cincinnati Bengals
My Pick: Cincinnati   Fantasy Impact Player: I hope AJ Green
If you remember, try and keep AJ Green in your thoughts so he can play in my big matchup against my best man this week, who also happens to be in first place, one place ahead of your's truly. The Bengals have a shot at starting 3-0 for the first time since 2006, when they were 8-5 in Week 14 and finished the year 8-8. OOPS!

Green Bay Packers @ Detroit Lions
My Pick: Green Bay   Fantasy Impact Player: Jordy Nelson
I don't think this one will exactly be a defensive pitching duel, but I do think it will be awesome as usual to watch two of the league's best receivers in Jordy Nelson and Calvin Johnson duke it out on opposite sides of the ball. I have an eerie feeling that the Lions are going to win this game, so let's move on before I talk myself into the right choice.

Indianapolis Colts @ Jacksonville Jaguars
My Pick: Indianapolis   Fantasy Impact Player: Andrew Luck
I just can't see the Colts starting 0-3, so this was an obvious pick for me. The Jaguars haven't exactly resembled a professional football team since the first half of that Eagles game. Pissed off Andrew Luck versus stuck in a starter's spot until the rookie behind him is ready and than we'll never see him again Chad Henne. GIVE ME ANDY L!

Oakland Raiders @ New England Patriots
My Pick: New England   Fantasy Impact Player: Tom Brady
Give me the points, double the points, and give me them again. Can I pick Patriots 57-10 and not seem insane?

San Francisco 49ers @ Arizona Cardinals
My Pick: San Francisco   Fantasy Impact Player: Frank Gore
Run the ball down their throats. Arizona has injuries problems all across the board and the 49ers are coming off a bad loss to the Bears. Uncle Ben wouldn't want us to have revenge on our hearts as Aunt May would tell us, but the 49ers want to make up for their loss last week.

Denver Broncos @ Seattle Seahawks
My Pick: Seattle   Fantasy Impact Player: Seattle Defense
The Seahawks just seem to have the Broncos number and they are home, which really isn't fair. I'm looking at you, NFL scheduling robots. Skip Bayless professed his love on Twitter about taking the Seahawks and the points. I don't know that it will be a blowout, but I do think Seattle wins this one by maybe three. This should be the Monday night game, ahem, please.

POOP OF THE WEEK
Kansas City Chiefs @ Miami Dolphins
My Pick: Miami   Fantasy Impact Player: No one
Don't play anyone in this game, except maybe Knile Davis simply because he somehow has been on fire so far. Somehow. Anyway, two teams that had decent expectations, one has just completely shit the bed and one was probably overrated. Go ahead and figure out which is which for yourselves.

Pittsburgh Steelers @ Carolina Panthers
My Pick: Pittsburgh   Fantasy Impact Player: Cam Newton
I see a 30-27 exciting game to the finish, which I wouldn't have said before the season started. This Panthers team is fun to watch again and this Steelers team isn't. So why am I picking Pittsburgh? I honestly have no answer. Next question.

Monday, September 22, 2014
Chicago Bears @ New York Jets
My Pick: Chicago   Fantasy Impact Player: Matt Forte
Still waiting on that breakout game from the Fort (I think I just coined that nickname, unfortunately). I think this is it. They fell behind early to the 49ers, staring down an ugly 0-2 start. Now they seem to be back on track, or at least my one track mind thinks so. Besides, like the Jets could win a national game on Monday night! LOL!

Last Week: 8-8
Season Total: 15-17