Welcome to Part Two of my first annual Super Big Ultimate NBA Preview! Can I get you something, maybe a Pabst Blue Ribbon? I've got a taste for living, I'm thinking cold blue ribbon.
Now I know what some people are thinking, "holy crap, I'm only one sentence in and already using the link thing again". To those people, buzz off, Buzz Killington! I like the link thing and I am gonna abuse the link thing like Billy Bob Thornton abused the words "I do." Second off, let's get things rolling with the Western Conference, shall we.
The West is more spread out this season than the East. Where the East is very top heavy, Miami and Boston lead a conference with a huge belly of average teams and a handful of teams that I could probably come off the bench for. Out west, it's a little different. The top is definitely defined, the Lakers and Thunder and I'll even take arguments for the Spurs sit atop the conference, but it is no dramatic drop to the second tier of teams. Also, the teams at the bottom are nowhere near as abysmal as Charlotte. Sorry Bobcat fans, you got dissed in Part One and Two. If that doesn't persuade Michael Jordan to try and snag LeBron in 2014, I don't know what will.
WESTERN CONFERENCE
1. OKLAHOMA CITY THUNDER (1st in Northwest Division)
The Thunder learned the hard and heartbreaking way last season that just because you have a great team on paper and on the court, does not mean you are a championship lock. Teams hit speed bumps, team hit injuries, teams hit better teams. A lot happens in an NBA season, and people who claim "OKC is good for at least one of the next three championships" are foolish.
That being said, the Thunder might be the team no one wants to play this season. You better believe this team is pissed off after the way they fizzled out in the Finals last season. You better believe this team has chemistry that most teams don't have. And you better believe that this team has perennial MVP frontrunner Kevin Durant leading the way. (That's right, I said frontrunner. Call me John McCain. Call me Jimmy Rollins. KD is more valuable to the Thunder this season than James is to Miami. It's simple, take James away and Miami makes the playoffs still. Take Durant away, and I honestly think Oklahoma City wins 35-40 games, max.)
The Thunder boast the best offense in the league, at least in my opinion. Kevin Durant scored 28 points per games last season and Russell Westbrook scored 23.6 a game. The duo of Durant and Westbrook is arguably the best in the NBA. Either one of these guys can hit you for 50 any night, depending on which one you don't want to double cover. And even if you catch them on off nights,Serge Ibaka or Kevin Martin can score points on you in bunches. Oh, they play defense as well. Despite Kendrick Perkin's flame-out in the Finals, I like what he brings to the table in terms of rebounds and defensive ability against most teams. Miami was a bad match-up for Perk, something OKC will need to address before Game 3 of the Finals from now on. Thabo Sefolosha is another defensive wizard for this team, although he is an offensive liability. An underrated addition for this team was picking up Hasheem Thabeet. Thabeet struggled in Memphis, but Oklahoma City was able to sign him for a cheap three year, 3.65 million dollar deal. Little risk, high potential reward. I think Thabeet is a guy who needed a new start, and he's getting it here in a smaller role with less pressure. Expect Thabeet to be a key contributor for minutes and defense off the bench.
This team is solid and stacked and ready to win a title now. Literally, my only concern other than injury or Westbrook going back into that "Wilt Chamberlain who?" mode is the Harden contract-trade debacle. I like Kevin Martin and think that Jeremy Lamb could turn out to be a good player, and they also stole two first round picks from Houston. They also lost Kurt Aldrich in the deal, a minor part of the trade but still a valuable bench player. The deal makes sense on the court for both teams, as Kevin Martin might not be as good as Harden, but Harden is not a stud and has never started before. What worries me is how this will affect the team morale and chemistry, but what would have worried me even more is how giving in and signing Harden to the max deal would have affected team morale. Durant, Westbrook, Perkins, and Ibaka all took pay cuts or restructured contracts to help the team save money and stay competitive down the road. Whether you have a problem with that or not, the players did it for the team. Signing Harden to a max deal would have given them the impression that he was better or more important to the team and you better believe we'd have a mess of Game of Thrones proportions here.
Speaking of Game of Thrones, while I think I understand where all the hype over it comes from, I am not a huge fan. I watched two episodes with my girlfriend and wasn't all that impressed and found myself reading about Netflix stocks online instead of watching the show. It seems like a great story, as I did jump in the middle, but I just think there are too many gross subplots that I could not watch it regularly. Lots of incest and lots of murder. However, I'm willing to defend Law and Order: SVU all day, erryday.
2. LOS ANGELES LAKERS (1st in Pacific Division)
The only way the Lakers could be more vulnerable to a dysfunctional season is if Vincent Kennedy McMahon himself owned the club. While the Lakers ceiling is high, their basement is also very low. Very low. Like Coldplay Low, and I'm only saying that for this: all you ever wanted was love, but you never looked hard enough
Prepare yourself to hear the stories of three of four future Hall of Famers playing together (depends on whether or not the person really loves Pau Gasol, thinks Ron Artest deserves entry because of the Malice at the Palace, or graduated with Jodie Meeks). But we've seen this before, when Hakeem Olajuwon, Clyde Drexler and Charles Barkley played together, and no championships were won. Dennis Rodman, David Robinson and Moses Malone did it in the early 90's with Isaiah Thomas and Joe Dumars, only to win as many titles as Morgan Freeman, Carson Daly, myself and Michael Imperioli have "Whatever happened to predictability, the milkman, the paperboy, evening TV?"
The point is, just because future Hall of Famers will be on the same court this season does not mean they are championship locks. I actually have little faith in this team once the playoffs role around. The season shapes out this way through my eyes, the Lakers start 2-14 and L.A almost falls apart because of panic mode, and Clippers jersey sales go through the roof and sell at all time highs. Of course, this means a Clippers jersey is sold. The Lakers realize "Hey, we're kinda sorta fucking this whole thing up", as Bryant calls out the locker room and Howard does an SNL skit of it. Regardless, the Lakers go on a run and make a mockery of their opponents simply based on skill and Kobe Bryant. They steamroll into the playoffs, and Lakers jerseys are back on track. Let me put it another way, the Lakers are like the Heat in their first season, stars thrown together with no real strategy or basing other than name and status. What will the Lakers look like when they need a stop, when they need a 3, when they need to hit the last shot? What does their small ball lineup look like? Their big man five? I don't have any answers for these questions and I guarantee Mike Brown doesn't either, he's still wondering either where to go for dinner or where he is.
The only question with an answer on this team is whose team is it? It's Kobe's. That might be okay with Steve Nash, he is 37, mature, and willing to play any role for a ring. Gasol understands this, he has won a ring playing Robin. Ron Artest understands this in a weird way, a way I won't try to explain because I really don't understand it. Does Dwight Howard understand? Does he care? I honestly don't think Howard has it. I might be the only one, I might not be saying anything new. I don't believe Howard has what it takes to win a ring in this league. LeBron didn't appear to have it until last season came to an end, and he beat the Thunder by himself. James woke up and said "This is my team right now, I need to win." I know Howard doesn't need to do that this season, although he does need to realize "This is Kobe's team, I need to help him win it for us. And than he's gonna retire soon, than I need to win for us." I don't think that thought exists in Superman's head.
3. LOS ANGELES CLIPPERS (2nd in Pacific Division)
This might be the highest I've ever ranked the Clippers outside of a list of "Teams That Were Bad Enough to Rely on To Start 38 Games" or "Teams Still Waiting for A Retired Number and May Just Retire Elton Brand's So They Can Fit In". But I am officially sold on this Clippers team. I am jumping on the bandwagon, and I am jumping hard. In fact, I even have them as a League Pass draw this year, something that I don't think any of us ever thought the Clippers could attain. Nevertheless, I don't understand how anybody in their right basketball mind could bet against a team with a starting five of Chris Paul, Chauncey Billups, Caron Butler, Blake Griffin and DeAndre Jordan? And a bench that boasts Jamal Crawford, Grant Hill, Matt Barnes and Ronny Turiaf? Sure, they have Lamar Odom, but their coached by Vinny Del Negro! Maybe I'm too Hopped up on The Clip, but I can see this team, if they have no major health concerns, winning 57-64 games this season.
To the readers who have not left after that, I could also see a case for the Clippers not only winning the Western Conference, but, gulp, winning the NBA Finals.
Now that I've lost everyone outside of the Paul family, let me vent Axe body wash versus Gilette body wash. If I polled the average American who has not used either of these brands, I would bet my house (mostly because my house is probably underwater right now because of Hurricane Sandy and how old it is) that over 80 percent would say Axe is probably better, which they probably base off of commercials. However, Gilette body wash is in it's own league compared to Axe for three reasons. First, it is cheaper, thats pretty all right. Second, when I ran out of it, I was genuinely disappointed. I rarely get disappointed over something like that, and now I find myself counting the days until my Axe body wash runs out and I can buy a new Gilette one. Third, Gilette promises they are the best a man can get, which is bold, but pretty realistic. It's body wash is soothing, smells good, and just a drop covers the whole body. Axe promises herds of women will attack anyone who uses it, and I have never seen that happen to anyone at a mall. Axe is also rough and has little specks in it, which last I checked I bought body wash, not cover your body with little specks.
Back to basketball, Chris Paul repaired his thumb over the past few months and might be playing with a healthy Billups and also with Caron Butler, alongside his Lob City counterpart in Griffin. I also expect Jordan to put up a career year at center, and love the Grant Hill signing. While Hill is no toddler on the court, he is a proven locker room presence and a true leader. A relatively young team will only improve with Hill and with a healthy Billups on the court. This team's potential is endless, as it has one of the league's best starting five, depth that is unmatched (at least in the West), and health. Health is key this year in Clipperwood.
4. SAN ANTONIO SPURS (1st in Southwest Division)
Even though the Onion relishes in making fun of Tim Duncan's blandish personality, and even though if I had to make a list of NBA players I would least like to find myself stuck in a corner with at a party, Duncan would at least make the top five (hold that thought), Duncan is a sure fire Hall of Famer who is staying in San Antonio for at least three more years.
Thought held? This got me thinking, I think the top five NBA players I'd least like to find myself stuck in a corner with at a party goes something like this, in no particular order: Tim Duncan (would bore the hell out of me), Carmelo Anthony (would annoy the hell out of me), Andrew Bynum (he might be on my favorite team, but I can't help but imagine what kind of ludicrous things he would do at the party, probably with no shirt on), A'Mare Stoudemire (I'd probably end up insulting him, and have him punch my face in or punch the nearest keg), and Chris Anderson (because he'd probably be mistaken for a gang member, or not even mistaken because he probably is, and I'd find myself in a scene like the news team fight in Anchorman). On the other hand, I would most like to get stuck in a corner with either Jason Terry, cuz he'd be a fun asshole, or Tony Parker, so he could teach me French. That's not racist, right?
The Spurs might bore you and aren't the most exciting team in the league, but they actually do score a lot of points. They scored 103.7 points a game last season and steamrolled through the postseason on an 18 game winning streak, before hitting a speed mountain against OKC and flaming out quickly in the second round. Duncan, Parker and Manu Ginobili are still one of the best trios in the NBA, and for as long as they are together, and as long as Greg Popovich is still running the show, San Antonio has to be considered a contender. The Spurs aren't going away anytime soon, and what's incredible is that contrary to the biggest NBA myth today, "The Spurs are too old", they are getting younger on the fly. Kawhi Leonard, last season's rookie sensation, is a solid center who will be the co-star with Parker once Duncan hangs it up if the Spurs play their cards right. Parker, who is shockingly only 30, should be around for awhile and was actually 4th in voting for best point guards in the league, as conducted by the NBA general managers. The Spurs have the right mix of new, young talent, and experience to continue to "bore" NBA fans for a few seasons.
5. DENVER NUGGETS (2nd in Northwest Division)
The top four contenders in the West are real, legitimate contenders with a very real and almost equal shot at winning the conference and possibly the Finals. The next three are teams that, I guess with a lot of luck, could win the conference, probably will not win anything more than that, and will find themselves getting the most League Pass hits.
It starts with Denver, who threw themselves into the four team megadeal that notably involved superstars Andrew Bynum and Dwight Howard, but also involved one of the most underrated and most abused young stars in the league, Andre Iguodala. The Nuggets turned Aaron Afflalo into Iguodala, a defensive specialist who helped USA win gold this year in the Olympics. Some have said that Iggy was one of the top 5 most important people on the USA team. That might be a stretch, but I'd listen to that argument. Iguodala needed to find the right team where he wasn't the go-to-scorer or guy, a team where he can play defense, take jumpers, and shoot free throws while not being relied on to score points. In Philadelphia, he never really had a guy who could continually score and take pressure off himself. Through a washed up Allen Iverson and Andre Miller, Willie Green, and Elton Brand, he never had a good sidekick of a scorer. In Denver, he has Ty Lawson.
I honestly think that the combo of Ty Lawson and Iguodala alone could make this a playoff team, as it is very much the same squad that took the Lakers to seven games in the first round of last season's playoffs, minus Afflalo. Lawson quietly scored 16 a game last season, so he can be relied on to run the offense and Iguodala will be the go to stopper on the other side of the court. I also love the matchup that this would create in the first round, as the Nuggets are young enough to possibly upset the Spurs, but well get to that later.
I also think I love the signing of JaVale McGee, even though there is so much risk involved there with a) the amount of money they shelled at him (4 years, $44 million) and b) the fact that he was a complete goofball on the court in Washington. However, McGee holds a lot of talent and potential to be a top ten center if he gets his act together. This team will score points, they scored the most in the NBA without McGee last season, but they need to stop points from being scored, they were 29th in that category. McGee and Iguodala will only improve both of those aspects. *Just a reminder, the Nuggets also have Corey Brewer, my sleeper pick for Sixth Man of the Year. **Denver also has George Karl as the head guy last I checked, my sleeper pick for Coach of the Year. ***They also have Andre Miller, my sleeper, er, lock pick for He Still Plays? Player of the Year.
6. MINNESOTA TIMBERWOLVES (3rd in Northwest Division)
My second of the "League Pass Musketeers" are the T'Wolves, despite the fact that Ricky Rubio might not be 100 percent and Kevin Love definitely ain't, he's missing 6-8 weeks to start the season. Minnesota might just start the year without their two best players, so you have to ask, "How in the blue hell could they compete while those guys are shelved, Pat?!"
Well, my dear readers, well. Take a seat. I'm going to read you a story called The TimberWolf That Could.
There once was a shooting guard named Brandon Roy. He was exceptional at two things, basketball and getting hurt. He made a name for himself on a basketball team known as the Portland Trailblazers, and became good friends with Greg Oden while he was there. The two of them were inseparable and seemed to be joint at the hip. If Oden was brushing his teeth, so was Roy. If Oden was afraid on the team flight to New York, so was Roy. If Oden was getting trashed on All-Star Weekend, so was everyone else in the league, including Roy. Unfortunately, if Oden was hurt, so was Roy.
One day, King David Stern said "teams with hurt people can get rid of hurt people and not have to pay the hurt people any money, so be it". Roy frowned when the big, mean Portland front office told him they didn't want him anymore because he was always hurt and made too much money. Roy packed his bags, kissed Oden goodbye, and started walking down a long, yellow brick road. He ran out of food, water and hope until the Timberwolves gave him a ring-a-ding ding, and well, the rest is history.
The point of that enlightening story, which can be found online for purchasing reasons here: Ray-Ray with the Jay-Jay! , is that I believe in Brandon Roy. He has carried teams with less talent before (I'm looking at you, 09-11 Portland) to subpar records for a whole season, so why couldn't he keep Minnesota relative for a month or two until his whole team is together, and Kevin Love goes into MVP mode. Ps, I'm claiming now, Kevin Love wins MVP if LeBron decides to try baseball out this season. Love had a monster 2012 campaign until he went down, and if he were healthy right now, I'd have him as a lock for the MVP this year. Unfortunately, he is hurt and James is in the league. Ya chalk some up as L's, huh?
The Timberwolves are finally relevant again, it has been eight sold years since the Kevin Garnett playoff teams were around. Then the KG shitty teams, then the KG-less shitty teams until last season's squad made a serious playoff push before they started spontaneously combusting. If they stay healthy this season, watch this team in the playoffs. They have the right pieces with a great frontcourt, a massive but lean center in Nikola Pekovic, and a number two pick of last year's draft in Derrick Williams who needs and wants to prove himself this year. I can just hear the T'Wolves fans now, "I think I can, I think I can...".
7. MEMPHIS GRIZZLIES (2nd in Southwest Division)
For some reason, the Griz kids were a popular pick to win the Lockout Finals last season. They put up a fight in the playoffs, but didn't really scare anyone and were eliminated pretty easily. Now, because it is a full season, I guess, the expectations have fallen off and lots of people have jumped off. To them, I say it's about time.
I was the biggest objection to this team's championship odds last season. On paper, they don't even look a contender, and on the court, I see even less of a reason to believe in them. Outside of Marc Gasol and Zach Randolph, both of whom I believe are underrated, this entire team is either irrelevant or overrated. Anyone who thinks Rudy Gay will put up almost twenty points a night again this season has probably been hanging out with Charlie Sheen pretty often or is Charlie Sheen. Tony Allen is good defensively, has a fun nickname (Trick of Treat Tony for those deprived of saying that at least ten times every Halloween) and that's about it. Mike Conley has yet to establish himself as a top tier point guard who can guide a team to a championship, although he is a guy who I could hear a case for being pretty damn good. But only Triple H is that damn good, "I've got the ROCKET, if you want to RIDE!!"
That starting five is worthy of a seventh slot in the West, although I had to talk myself out of slotting them eighth of ninth, simply by remembering two key offseason moves. They brought in Jerryd Bayless, who I routinely joke is Skip Bayless's lost brother (usually brings in zero to no laughs, thank you). They also lost Gilbert Arenas, which is the best thing that could have happened to a young team that strays from the spotlight. Having someone who has been suspended for gun use and a notable asshole tends to bring you into the spotlight. Also, Maureese Speights is my favorite player on this team. Watching him when he was on the Sixers was great and I hated seeing them let him go because he is a big man with a nice jumper who can score and play just enough defense. He will be a key reserve for this team.
Sorry for not believing Memphis, but I think this squad has been too overhyped because people love how exciting the offense can be at times. And because they were really bad for a while and people love underdogs. Long live the Tigers, by the way!
8. DALLAS MAVERICKS (3rd in Southwest Division)
Welcome to the Senior Circuit of the NBA. This retirement home of the league embarrassed themselves last season with a half-hearted title defense, finishing 36-30 and getting eliminated in the first round of the playoffs. They tried to make cap room to bring in Deron Williams, but Mark Cuban embarrassed the franchise when he was a no show for the free agent's meeting and alas, Williams is not a Maverick. All of this captivated with Dallas bringing in veterans to go with a few young guys whose talent and potential has yet to be reached. This might be a recipe good enough to make the playoffs, but it is no championship formula.
The Mavericks need to realize soon that life after Dirk Nowitzki is coming, and it is beginning this season as he will miss a small amount of time to start the year. Nowitzki has been the cornerstone of this franchise for the better part of a decade. He won a league MVP here in 2007 en route to a 66 win regular season and a sweep by the eight seed Golden State Warriors in the first round. "We Believe" is an illegal phrase in Dallas now. Dirk helped this team make the NBA Finals in 2006, before seeing a 2-0 series lead evaporate thanks to the referees, Dwayne Wade and the referees. Dirk helped, er, carried this team to a championship banner finally in 2011 by upsetting the Miami Heat. To say that Nowitzki did that by himself is completely true. It is hard to think if anyone has been more valuable to a team over the past decade than Nowitzki has. You could make cases for Kobe, KG, LeBron, Steve Nash, Howard, and even guys like T-Mac, Iverson, Carter, Shaq, Anthony and some others. But you replace the German with a sub-par or average player, and the Mavericks don't have anywhere near the success they have had with Nowitzki as the guy. We're gonna play a quick game of "1998 Draft, This is Your Life!"....Or you could watch this!
First of all, the number one pick in this draft was none other than, and if you remember this, you either are a closet Clippers fan or Michael Olowokandi, Michael Olowokandi! That's right, the Clippers decided to take the foreign center that ended up being a pretty big bust in a draft that really didn't boast all that much talent. But still, anyone with a name like Olowokandi should not be the first pick, not sexy enough. Unless of course your in the sour cream aisle and a brand is called Olowokandi Sour Cream, than you go with it. Michael, I'm looking at you bud. Anyway, the picks after Olowokandi are as followed: Grizzlies take Mike Bibby, Nuggets take Raef LaFrentz, Raptors take Antawn Jamison before trading him to the Warriors, Warriors take Vince Carter before trading him to the Raptors (whoops), Mavericks select Robert Traylor (we'll get to this in a second), Kings take Jason Williams, 76ers take Larry Hughes, and the Bucks take Dirk. The Bucks ended up trading Nowitzki for Traylor. Yeah, you read that right. Now imagine if the Mavs had kept Steve Nash and Traylor, would they be as good? Maybe, Nash carried the Suns for awhile. Now imagine the Mavericks just has Traylor, that is a perrenial lottery team. The Nowitzki trade saved Dallas, and their window with Dirk is quickly closing. Just for the record, Paul Pierce went right after Dirk, imagine if they had been swapped. Dirk leads the Celtics through the 00's and Boston doesn't need to deal with the Paul Pierce tantrum days. Would Cuban have been able to handle those days in Dallas? I love this stuff!
The Mavericks have a solid starting five of Dirk, Darren Collison, O.J Mayo, Shawn Marion and Chris Kaman. If they can stay healthy, they can do some damage. But staying healthy will be easier said than done for this team. Also, the fact that Shawn Marion is still starting for an NBA team worries me and it should worry you. If I had to start a list of guys I'd least like my team to go out and get, Kwame Brown is number one (D'oh!), Stoudemire is number two, Gilbert Arenas is number three, and I'm thinking Marion is number four. His jumper is like watching an old woman take batting practice, except she hasn't moved from her chair in years. That's a stretch, I know, but work with it. Marion's jumper sucks.
I like Collison at point and I think Mayo has tons of potential that was not realized in Memphis. I also love that Dallas has Elton Brand on the bench, as starting for Philadelphia last year was no failure for the veteran. His defense off the bench will be all he needs to bring to the table, but he can still give you six to twelve points a night. Also, don't forget Vince Varter and Delonte West found themselves here. West will be on the sidelines hurt to start the season, and Carter will be on the sidelines wondering why he doesn't hear his name in the starting five all season until he is cut somewhere around November 15.
9. UTAH JAZZ (4th in Northwest Division)
Let me paint for you the picture of the only reason I hate the Utah Jazz. In what world does a league exist where there is a franchise named the Jazz, a franchise in New Orleans, and these two franchises aren't the same? Why aren't the Jazz in New Orleans? True, why does New Orleans still have a basketball team, but why can't we just change the names between these two teams? The Utah Hornets sounds cool enough, it's not like Utah Jazz is exciting or intimidating! The New Orleans Jazz makes sense and opens so many marketing doors for the franchise that could revitalize basketball in the city. And Utah has good fans, they'd recognize this and still come support their Hornets. For this reason, and it's totally and 100 percent not fair, I hate the Utah Jazz.
Nevertheless, they have an exciting young nucleus that at least put up fights in all four of the games it played against the Spurs in the playoffs last year. Sweep or no sweep, it was at least an exciting series for what it could have been. Utah really didn't lose any key players outside of Devin Harris, who is being replaced by Mo Williams, a move I actually think could help this team. Williams started his career in Utah, and can score at point, something that will undeniably help an offense that can be lackluster at times. I love everything about Paul Millsap, but also wonder how much longer he will be on this team. A youth movement and plans for the future of this franchise don't seem to include Millsap for whatever reason, a guy who has posted All-Star numbers for the past few seasons. It could be to make more room for the young scoring energy machine, Derrick Favors. Favors could be the future of this franchise, but I think having Millsap around can only help the team now and the development of the young power forward. Gordon Hayward brings versatility to the team, and Al Jefferson is the lead man. Jefferson scored just under 20 points per game last season, and is still a dominant center in this conference.
This Jazz youth movement seems to be happening while they still have enough experience in Jefferson and Millsap and now Mo Williams to still contend. Should one of the bottom four playoff teams not pan out, there is no reason this team can not make it as the 7th or 8th seed this year and show some real trouble to the teams atop the West. Randy Foye and Enes Kanter are two other young players who are versatile and talented. The Jazz may not be dominant this year, but if this group of young guys pans out the way they plan, Utah could be a top tier team out West in upcoming seasons.
10. PORTLAND TRAILBLAZERS (5th in Northwest Division)
The story in Portland is rebuilding. They amnestied Brandon Roy and finally parted ways with Greg Oden. They lost Raymond Felton, whether they wanted to or not, and also lost Jamal Crawford. They fired head coach Nate McMillan and finished 28-38 last season, their worst record in years. Bright spots were hard to find amidst the bad health and roster changes, but this season and the upcoming ones could be much better for Portland.
I offered this trade in my fantasy basketball league the other day. I was offering Dwayne Wade and Drew Gooden for Jrue Holiday and LaMarcus Aldridge. To the casual fan, I was ripping myself off. Wade is a star, a household name and a champion and Drew Gooden is, well, Dwayne Wade is really good. Holiday is an unproven point guard on an unproven, new look Sixers team. And who is LaMarcus Aldridge? Well, to the more than casual fan, I was winning if that trade went through (which it didn't by the way, grr) because of the huge ceiling Aldridge provides. Aldridge posted a 21-8-2 last season and was the lone bright spot on a team that spiraled out of contention. We'll never know the things that could have been with Aldridge, Roy and Oden, as two of those pieces are now gone. (Ps, didn't Oden have an Old Spice commercial one year? I could have sworn he did, and if he did, why the hell did he? Oden is a pretty ugly dude, no offense Momma Ode. Also, I wrote an article when Oden and Durant came out of college, and said that Portland would be so much better off with Oden. I said that "Kevin Durant is too small to make it in this league and that Greg Oden will be an All-Star. Phew, glad I got that off my chest, that was tough.
Aldridge is the key to this season, if he goes down, I think Portland could be a bottom five team in the NBA. If he doesn't, and if Nicholas Batum has the same season he did in 2011-12, and if the plethora of young players show up at all, than Portland could reasonably see a .500 or slightly better record. Damian Lillard, the number 6 pick in this year's draft, is one of those guys who needs to step up. It is a lot to ask for, though, as a rookie point guard is a challenge in itself. The fact that outside of Aldridge, he really has no "go-to-guy" who he can count on to score. Batum has had one good season, there's not enough reason for me to believson in him. J.J Hickson and "go-to-guy" are like Ryan Gosling and "blue-collar" being in the same sentence. And Wesley Matthews might have scored 13 points a game last season, but his role will be more of the grizzly vet and a defensive stopper. Meyers Leonard might be the next big thing at center for this team, unless the future revolves around J.J Hickson. But then again this is professional basketball. Sorry Hickson, you really didn't deserve two shots like that, here ya go. I hope this makes up for it: "OH, IT"S HICKSON!"
11. HOUSTON ROCKETS (4th in Southwest Division)
The Rockets aren't kidding when they announce their new slogan: "A New Age." The average years of experience on this team at the beginning of training camp was two. Two. That's two years more than me. And a lot less than Robert Horry. Or Earl Boykins. Somehow.
Enter James Harden. A proven sixth man and winner, but never a proven starter. Enter Jeremy Lin, a phenomena that fizzled out almost as quickly as he started. Enter Omer Asik, who had one good playoff round performance, and was brought in as the starting center. And that is the basic mold of this team. A lot of question marks, and I see three that need to be answered to truly project the outcome for this team's 2012 season.
1) Can James Harden handle starting? It needed to come at some point in his career, as his 16 points a game coming off the bench needs to be given a shot as a starter. Harden may have been a bench player, technically, for Oklahoma City but he was more important than anyone on that team not named Kevin Durant or Russell Westbrook. Harden brings the ability to score anywhere, inside or downtown, and the ability to bring a team together. That is extra important here since there is so little experience, let alone experience playing as a unit. Harden can handle starting, it might take him a little bit to get consistent, but by year's end and for the future, he can handle starting.
2) Linsanity 2.0? Jeremy Lin was the most talked about NBA storyline, well, sports storyline, well, storyline for a solid two or three months last season before he hurt his ankles and missed the playoffs. The ugly "relationship" between Lin and Carmelo Anthony gave the Knicks a decision this offseason, do we move forward with Lin or Anthony? The numbers would tell you Lin, as the team went on winning streaks when he was in the lineup and lost and had their season end with Carmelo there. However, the NBA front office can be a weird place, and Anthony has final say in that organization. Alas, Anthony is a Knick and Jeremy Lin is a Houston Rocket. While people and analysts will watch closely as Lin starts the season, I have a feeling the pop will end after about a month. I mean, come on, Asians don't even have a big base with Houston. (Cut to Yao Ming hanging Christmas lights up in his front yard somewhere, wherever he is these days).
3) The future? Houston knows it won't contend this season and that their shot at making the playoffs, especially playing in the Western Conference, are about the same as the odds of me ever convincing somebody that Dennis Quade and Harrison Ford are the same person. (I swear the resemblance is uncanny and yet, I am the only one who sees it. Guess I have some sort of sixth sense, I'm looking at you Bruce Willis). The Rockets have tons of young talent, but they traded away two first round picks and a second rounder to OKC for Harden, which right now is fine, but what will those picks amass to? Houston will likely finish near the bottom, so those are valuable picks. They also traded Kevin Martin, an established scorer in this league. Can Houston really build this team for the future around Harden, Lin, and Asik? (Sidenote, while they may be able to build a solid team around the core of Harden and Lin, Asik will be a huge disappointment, which is saying something because I don't understand why he has any expectations at all.)
12. PHOENIX SUNS (3rd in Pacific Division)
Ah, my least favorite organization in basketball. Steve Nash finally got out of here, and the Suns can start rebuilding without the best gift they ever landed. The story of Steve Nash and the Suns is like a child asking for a bike for Christmas, they get it, but never ride it. They instead leave it in the front yard for years, as it could still ride and looks so flashy that you don't understand why it isn't surrounded by a child riding it. It eventually gets rusty and another kid up the street, who we'll call L.A, steals it. That is as close an analogy anyone can draw up for Steve Nash's career, I am sure of it.
Who gets the uneasy task of replacing the future Hall of Famer? A guy who has already beeb the backup to Nash, Goran Dragic. Dragic returns to Phoenix after signing with Houston a few seasons ago. This makes it at least a little bit easier to move on with life after Nash as Dragic has been there before. Dragic averaged five assists and eleven points a game last season, so he doesn't exactly fill Nash's shoes, but those are big shoes to fill. Not literally of course, I'm willing to bet Nash has a small shoe size and anyone who disagrees, feel free to email me. Anyone who wants to email me about anything, for that matter, email me. Please.
I actually think it is long overdue that Phoenix moves on from the Steve Nash Era. Regardless of whose fault it is that they never won a ring with Nash, and trust me that falls completely on the ownership's table, the Suns needed an overhaul. They were not going to go farther than a 7th to 10th seed in the West with Steve Nash leading a cast of nobody's around for 82 games. Now they are a cast of nobody's with no leader. That is harsh, maybe unjustly harsh, but somewhat true. This team has no leader now. Jared Dudley might step up as the leader, but he is more of a Robin to a Robin to a Batman, not a Batman. Watch for Michael Beasley, as he was displaced in Minnesota and gets a second shot at a starting gig here.Beasley could be a true key this season as if he lives up to what he has been hyped up to be, the Suns may have themselves a franchise player.
13. SACRAMENTO KINGS (4th in Pacific Division)
It's been six years since the Pittsburgh Kings, er, Sacramento Kings have made the playoffs. Sacramento has thrown some pretty awful lineups on the court over those six seasons, as if you ask people to name a King recently, I feel like most would still answer Chris Webber or that tall, ugly looking dude (Hedu Turkoglu, of course).
The Kings have talent now, they just need to learn what to do with it and how to keep it in line. Attitudes run rampant on this roster, most notably with the best player, DeMarcus Cousins. Cousins has the tools to be the second best center in the league (watch out, Dwight), but he doesn't have the demeanor or motivation. Cousins is the undeniable leader of this team and the best player, but he needs to show he is up for the task. Last season, he did not. That led to a 22-44 record. That won't fly this season as this team has too much talent to be losing that many games. The first step is for Cousins to wake up, man up, and realize he is the franchise player. As unfair as that might be at the young age of 22, it's how the organization has set it up by not signing any veterans to assume that role this year. Cousins has the talent to be the second best center in the league as early as this season, mark my words. I just hope he knows that comes with responsibility. Now come get dinner DeMarcus before it gets cold.
Tyreke Evans, the athletically gifted phenom who hails from my stomping grounds, is another young talent on this team. Evans and sophomore Jimmer Fredette will be relied on to score and play defense. Cousins can score, he scored almost twenty a night last year, but can't defend as well as many would like. Evans and Jimmer are not defensive specialists, but they can hold their ground. Jimmer may have screwed my bracket over, as I will never forget the night he went down with BYU in March a few years ago. I was getting ready for my intramural softball game, No Glove No Love was ironically my team name and I was watching a BYU game. Anyway, Jimmer could not get BYU the win and my bracket almost immediately went to the shitter from than on. My softball team did too, as we made the playoffs that season, but I had to miss the first game since I had tickets for a CAKE concert. (Everyone should go to at least one CAKE concert in their lives, even if they aren't fans of the music. It was worth the hilarious comedy of John McCrea alone. Any lead singer who jokes "People need to get trashed to bear our music, so I'm not surprised by this crowd", and gives away a tree for a fan to plant and post a picture of on their website, is a Hall of Famer in my book). We lost that game, and failed to make the playoffs the following year. It's a tough league, I swear.
What frustrates me is Sacramento needed to sign an established vet to help lead this young, inexperienced and immature team. Their were plenty, Dallas basically signed a new team out of them. Bringing in Elton Brand, for example, would motivate me to move this team up to the tenth seed even. But no, they signed Aaron Brooks and called it a day. Sacramento is fighting to keep their team in Sacramento, yet they won't go sign a veteran to a cheap deal (Aaron Brooks doesn't count as a veteran. I played with army soldiers as a child, but I'm not a veteran. I also played with animal figures and made fake zoo's, however, I do consider myself a veteran zookeeper for that. That game got out of hand, fast.) I think the Kings will be out of Sacramento within three years, and they have no one to blame but the front office. Great drafts, horrible everything else.
14. NEW ORLEANS HORNETS (5th in Southwest Division)
I got a text today from ESPN Alerts stating that "Hornets shooting guard Eric Gordon is out indefinitely with right knee problem". That scares me. Outside of Gordon, the Hornets are a very bad team with one rookie whose dad might be the coolest guy in NBA history (Austin Rivers, duh. Who did you think I meant?)
While were at it, Ken Griffey Jr and Sr are the coolest father-son combos in baseball, the Rivers boys in basketball, and Joe Flacco and his dad in football. I refuse to include any other sports, and also refuse to acknowledge that Joe Flacco's dad didn't play professional football. I also have never seen or heard anything about Flacco's dad, I'm just praying he is cool enough to not make a mockery out of me. I'm willing to bet he is a lot like Joe though, Joe Papa Cool has to be cool than. The coolest father-son combo in anything is a tight race between Bill and Theo Cosby and Spongebob and his dad, with the Cosby's etching out the win solely because of their theme song and the fact that I was Bill Cosby for Halloween once. I feel like I owe him this one.
As you can tell, there isn't much to say about this team. Eric Gordon is a fantastic player, who has said he is unhappy in New Orleans. I don't blame him for thinking or saying that. The Hornets have been screwed over by the league, one of the few things I dislike about David Stern's tenure is the whole "Chris Paul Trade Debacle". The Hornets are a team set for dismay until, and if, Austin Rivers establishes himself. Also, until Anthony Davis, the first pick of the draft this season, establishes himself. However, the difference between Rivers and Davis, and why I expect more from Rivers (other than my obvious man crush on his dad), is I can't trust a man with a unibrow. Why Davis can't shave that thing is beyond me, and I think it shows something about his character that I can not agree with. Sorry Davis, something personal.
The fact that while I looked the roster over, I said "Well, looks like Robin Lopez would be the go-to-guy here if problems arose in a game" proves how bad this team really is. If Gordon is hurt for a long period of time, and by hurt I mean "hurt", this is a lottery team to end all lottery teams. Without Gordon in the lineup, I predict this team to win, maybe, 14 games.
15. GOLDEN STATE WARRIORS (5th in Pacific Division)
For the Warriors, I have a three piece guide to how watch the season. Ladies and gentleman,
1) Create a team in NBA 2K13 of you and your closest friends. I even dare you to include your fat and unathletic but really funny friend. Even the one who has never picked up a basketball and is too sophisticated for the game. Even include your grandfather, I double dog dare you. Now play a pickup game against the Warriors. If you give your team their actual attributes, so assuming you aren't friends with the '92 Dream Team, your team is somewhere around a 50-54 ranking. I guarantee your team wins the game.
2) On a serious note, I love Jarret Jack. The Warriors gave up only Dorrell Wright in a three team deal with Philly and New Orleans to acquire Jack from the Hornets. The point guard should step in and start right away, at least I hope he does. I'd rather watch anything with Jarret Jack starting over Stephon Curry anyday of the week, except maybe a celebrity golf tournament, because Curry would be a laughing stock I bet. Curry is also an injury liability, so Jack will see the ball lots.
3) If Golden State stays completely healthy and plays up to their absolute potential, like plays better than they ever thought they could, I would listen to an argument for this team to be the 8 seed. Listen, I wouldn't agree, but I would listen. Andrew Boget and Harrison Barnes might end up being a solid duo, might. There are plenty of "maybe's" and "what if''s" surrounding this team. The only two definites are Stephon Curryis here, so account for those losses, and that this team has the most underrated, kind of cool in a kind of feminine way jerseys. Pretend I didn't say that, but look them up. It'll be our little secret.
So, there ya have it. That is how the regular season out West will pan out. Wanna know how the playoffs are looking? By golly, I thought you'd never ask!
1 OKLAHOMA CITY defeat 8 DALLAS, 4-1
I give the Thunder one loss in this series as Dirk goes apeshit in Game 3 to try and salvage an unsalvageable team. Dallas will be worn out by this point as the aging veterans won't be able to move much longer. The Thunder are simply too quick, agile and talented to lose more than one game to this Mavericks team as they outscore Dallas easily in five and move on.
2 LOS ANGELES LAKERS defeat 7 MEMPHIS, 4-2
I know I lashed out against Memphis in their section, and left it open for the Lakers to lose a first round series in theirs, but I guess I'm kind of going against both here by taking L.A in six? Idk. Anyway, the Grizzlies will put up a pretty good fight here but will ultimately not be able to stop Kobe who is looking for another ring to get closer to being better than MJ, and Howard will have his way with a smaller team.
3 LOS ANGELES CLIPPERS defeat 6 MINNESOTA, 4-0
As much as this hurts, and trust me it does, I see the Timberwolves as a classic "sexy upset pick by all of ESPN and water cooler conversations everywhere, but they are really just too young and inexperienced and are gonna get dey ass whooped and make everyone look silly" team. Rubio and Love will struggle to find their groove and the Clippers are just too deep for this to even be a close, competitive series.
5 DENVER defeat 4 SAN ANTONIO, 4-3
I went back and forth on this season, and the only things I know for sure is that it is going four games and the Spurs will win. I see this as an incredibly exciting seven game series between the veterans who can score and play defense as a unit and the scoring young guys with one dude who plays great defense. I love the Nuggets though in a Game 7, even thought Tim Duncan will be impossible to stop. Iguodala stops him just enough in the final minutes for Ty Lawson to take over and move Denver to Round 2.
ROUND 2
1 OKLAHOMA CITY defeat 4 DENVER, 4-2
Oklahoma City is the worst nightmare of a Nuggets team that moves on from the first round. The Nuggets can score, the Thunder can score more. The Nuggets can kind of play defense, the Thunder can play a lot more defense. This Nuggets team hasn't been there before, this Thunder team has been a lot farther than this before. Need I say more?
3 LOS ANGELES CLIPPERS defeat 2 LOS ANGELES LAKERS, 4-2
This is way too interesting and cool of a matchup to actually happen, but hey, this is my preview. In the Battle of LA, Chris Paul beats Kobe and Howard?! Unfortunately for my boy, Nash, the answer is yes. Like I have said, this Lakers team is not built for a playoff run when team outweighs the individual, and two "me" guys at the top won't work. I put full blame on this series loss on Howard and full credit for this series win to Chauncey Billups, who would have his way with the Lakers in seven games, me thinks.
WESTERN CONFERENCE FINALS
3 LOS ANGELES CLIPPERS defeat 1 OKLAHOMA CITY, 4-3
In what I honestly think would be the most exciting Western Conference Finals in years, my Clippers find themselves in their first NBA Finals since the War of 1812. Chris Paul and KD equal each other out, as both are men on a mission who score at will for most of the series. The difference makers will end up being Billups, who I really am putting a lot of faith in, I should probably buy a Chauncey Billups action figure or voodoo doll, and the absence of James Harden. Kevin Martin can't hold his ground in a Western Finals matchup, he just can't. I really do think that DeAndre Jordan and Blake can, they are young, but seem more confident. CLIPS, DON'T FAIL ME NOW!
NBA FINALS- MIAMI HEAT VERSUS LOS ANGELES CLIPPERS
GAME 1 IN MIAMI- HEAT WIN, The Heat are used to the Finals atmosphere, so the Game 1 hype will be nothing for the this team in their third straight championship series. LeBron steals the show and gets closer to etching himself in history. James scores 35, Paul manages to score something around 25, but is the only consistent scorer.
GAME 2 IN MIAMI- HEAT WIN, Again, the Heat's experience shines bright. Billups and Paul both show up, but Griffin and Jordan find themselves in turnover debacles. James and Wade go through a few seven minute runs of scoring at will, and the Heat go up 2-0.
GAME 3 IN LA- CLIPPERS WIN, Billups takes over. Billups channels his Detroit powerhouse days and goes apeshit on the Heat defense. Paul feeds him the ball all night and he ends up with 30+ points. James does what he can, as he is now averaging 35ish a night in the Finals, Jordanesque if you ask me. Wink wink.
GAME 4 IN LA- HEAT WIN, I really think this game goes to overtime with, none other than, James taking over in the fifth quarter. This is where legends are born, when someone needs to step up in a pivotal playoff, no, final game.
GAME 5 IN MIAMI- HEAT WIN, I know, I know, I could have been a lot sexier and pick the Clippers to win the Finals, but I went with the boring pick in Miami. You know I went with the boring pick, because it is the pick. Miami figured out to dominate the league in the Boston series last year. They have the formula, and if everyone stays healthy, and I can't make room for predicting Wade's knee will give out or Bosh will get hurt again, than Miami is a dynasty in the making. And we are all along for the ride.
Well, here we are. As I publish this the day after the first game of the season, Celtics-Heat in what is the modern day rivalry of the NBA, the season is upon us and I can not wait! This season should be the most exciting season ever, or at least in two years since we have no lockout! I really hope you enjoyed my preview and sit back, enjoy the new season where everyone is 0-0 and anything can happen, and be cheesy! What Ricky Davis is probably doing right now anyway!
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