We're in for a wild year in the NBA, and despite the huge expectations for basketball in Los Angeles, are the Lakers a lock for the championship banner?
The Dwight Howard phenomena came to an end in August when through a four team trade involving the Magic, Sixers, and Nuggets, the Lakers ended up with the big prize of the summer. Adding the league's best big man to a starting five that already included Pau Gasol, a solid and dependable guy down low, Steve Nash, arguably the league's best point guard of the past decade, Kobe Bryant, arguably the league's best player of the past decade, and Ron Artest, the comedic relief, came with enormous expectations. And rightfully so. This starting five, on paper, has been compared from everything to the Kobe-Shaq Machine of the early 2000's to the Dream Team to the lineup from Live 8.If Howard can acknowledge that, and mesh well with four other superstars, than this team is dangerously dangerous. If not, the Lakers could be the biggest disappointment since that movie that only made $100,000 dollars this past summer. You didn't hear about that? Well, I guess it's not really a disappointment than. (Regardless, check this out: Oogieloves! More like Oogieflop! ) Biggest disappointment since Eli Manning having two more Super Bowl rings than you do? There we go, that hits home.
This, of course, is just one of so many storyline from a great NBA offseason. Can the Heat repeat? Can Andrew Bynum make the next step to being "the" guy? Can Tim Duncan win one more? Has the Grizzlies window closed? Is Omer Asik really that good? I'm biting my nails waiting for the answers, hbu? Nvm.
Without further ado, here is my full preview of where teams will fall in the conference and of how the playoffs will fall, and who knows. There might be some coverage of things like the presidential elecetion, MLB playoffs and possibility of Arrested Development finally coming out with a movie. Who knows.
EASTERN CONFERENCE
1. MIAMI HEAT (1st in Southeast Division)
The Miami Heat, regardless of that love letter about the Lakers above, are the team to beat still in the NBA. They proved that they know how to win as a team, how to win with LeBron James, and how to win without the ugliest player in the league. Sorry, that was rude. How to play without the ugliest player in sports. Sorry for that dis, Chris Bosh. Seriously though, as cruel as it sounds, would you want this on your coffee mug or picture on your car dashboard? You are beautiful, in every single way...words can't bring me downnnn
In basketball terms, which I guess this is about, the Heat figured it out sometime around Game 4 of the Indiana Pacers series last season. It took them almost two full seasons together, but they finally molded and "got it". James needs to take late shots, he can not pass them up to players like Mario Chalmers, credit where its due to Chalmers. James is the best player in the league, so he is the best on this team, but he is not the sole leader. For them to repeat, he needs to realize again that this is a two man show with Chris Bosh as the guest star. I expect to see plenty of James playing small forward this year, and also alot more Shane Battier, which sounds devastating but is actually a good thing.
Overall, I expect the Heat to easily get through the regular season. They did it last season in a shortened year that was built for younger, speedier, and deeper teams. In a full, 82 game schedule, Miami has a shot, maybe even a legitimate shot, at the 1998 Bulls record of 72 wins. If the Heat don't implode like the Amish stars from TLC, then I guarandamntee the Heat win at least 63 games, and the Rock means 63 games!!
2. BOSTON CELTICS (1st in Atlantic Division)
This is like buying an Oldsmobile from a shady car dealership. All of the other cars are pretty questionable, alot could go wrong as soon as you drive off the lot, and you'll likely end up cursing at yourself in the mirror before bed one night for the decision you made. So instead, you go with the car that is older but has been through more and has shown it can be relied on. It's dependable and familiar. Mind you, all of the other cars are also brands you've never heard of, like Womniack or something. But you go with the Oldsmobile and you know that you have something good here. Sure, your buddy might have bought a Womniack, or picked the Knicks as the second seed, and both of those might turn out better, but they also could be complete and udder duds. The Oldsmobile? No dud, no risk, but a possible huge reward of giving a good return on your choice.
Are the banks open today so I can cash my check from Oldsmobile?
The Celtics are the deepest team in the East. The Celtics have the least holes of any team in the East. The Celtics are the most familiar team in the East. They are not the best, most exciting or offer the most potential, but in a conference that is depleted, young, and average, the Celtics get the number two seed by default and tenure. In what could be KG's last season, possibly Paul Pierce's last season and what could be Rajon Rondo's finest, the Celtics have a shot at an Eastern Conference Finals rematch with Miami. They can play small ball as Rondo is a premiere point guard, possibly the best in the league, who understands his role. He also understands his role is expanding, and he thrives under that. Rondo has been groomed with "The Big Three", and now one of them is on his rival (Ray Allen left for Miami, I wasn't banging the old drum of his BFF Kendrick Perkins being traded to Oklahoma City, although I wouldn't hesitate to take that shot since I kind of indirectly just did). Rondo has the personality of a pompous toddler, but he can run an offense. Not to mention, this is pretty much the same starting five he is used to, minus Allen. One would argue they will miss Allen's perimeter prescence, but one would remind one that one, Courtney Lee is now a Celt. Lee is not the all time leader in three's, you see, but he can shoot the J, what do you say, he is a bench guy who can make a play. Oh the places you'll go.
3. INDIANA PACERS (1st in Central Division)
The Pacers went from the team that just flat out bored me to my second favorite team to my "way to let me down while I root against Miami" team in a span of about a week. If that. That's how fast Indiana went from considerable underdogs against a Miami powerhouse in the Eastern Conference Semifinals to "Wait, Indiana is up 2-1? Did I read that right? Maybe I should have turned that game on instead of watching a five hour orgy of Big Bang Theory on tbs" to "Yup, Miami really is pretty good. I wonder if Big Bang Theory is on, I don't wanna watch them celebrate". At least that's how it was for me.
This year should be different, Indiana has some serious pieces in place to become a contender in the East. Danny Granger and Paul Millsap have become a legit 1-2 punch to account for on any given night. If both of them are missing shots, even the Curious George Hour (George Hill and Paul George) can hurt you. And Roy Hibbert is quietly a top five center in my opinion. Guys like Sam Young, David West, Gerald Green and D.J Augustin complete this team as a force to be reckoned with. They play defense and they can score just enough that is needed. Indiana snuck up on Miami, though. They won't be doing that this season, and that could be their downfall. For the most part, this is still a very young team. However, the experience of last season's playoffs, almost upsetting the Bulls a few year back (although only a few players remain from that squad) and the fact that this roster has incredible talent and potential, this team can dominate.
4. PHILADELPHIA 76ERS (2nd in Atlantic Division)
Regardless of what people think, the Andrew Bynum era has begun in Philadelphia. You can knock the fact that he has never had the limelight, never been the centerpiece of a team. I don't understand that comment, quite frankly (embrace debate!), as I believe Bynum is ready to take that next step. Sure, he took his shirt off after Laker's losses and threw elbows in the playoffs, but I think being the centerpiece of this Sixers squad has humbled him. I could be way off here, but I think he will thrive under the pressure of being a true leader and workhorse now. Bynum gives the Sixers the big presence they have so desperately needed since Dikembe Mutumbo left town and made way to Samuel Dalembert. Bynum also allows the Sixers to match up better with Miami, the team they will need to be able to beat to make that next jump.
Philadelphia has a depleted bench that will likely be led by Jason Richardson. Any bench that boasts Jason Richardson as their best player these days has problems with hair on them. The Sixers are a young, athletic core of Bynum, Thaddeus Young, Jrue Holiday (who could be in the league's top five point guards by year end), Lavoy Allen, Spencer Hawes, and Evan Turner. What will end up severely hurting this team, more so than the defensive force but overpaid underachiever Andre Iguodala departure, is losing Lou Williams. Williams was a strong candidate for Sixth Man award the past two seasons, and gave the Sixers multiple late game shots to boost energy and morale. Williams is no longer here, and Richardson can not step up to take that role. He is simply too old. Aaron Mckie anyone?
5. ATLANTA HAWKS (2nd in Central Division)
Atlanta is the team nobody cares about anymore. They are a perennial lock to be a 4 or 5 seed, entice more than a few ESPN analysts to jump ship on their favorite and pick the Hawks to win a series or two, and generally get swept or pay the most dry, boring and uneventful six or seven game series in NBA history. Every year. This is like picking Al Davis in a dead pool. You always know he'll be close, but he never actually did anything. Never had a heart attack or fall down a flight of steps. But this year, he did pass away. And this year, the Hawks really could make the second round.
Atlanta has a solid and exciting, young team this season that is lacking a true superstar. Al Horford is among the league's top centers, when healthy, and appears to be healthy right now. Even if he misses some games early, Horford should be fine to play at least sixty games this season. Althought Josh Johnson left, Josh Smith is still in town and will tandem with Horford in transition. Anthony Morrow gives a perimeter threat and Kyle Korver has proven he can be a solid starter in the NBA. The addition of Lou Williams gives the bench even more depth. The Hawks have been set on defense for the past few seasons, and now have the offensive firepower to pose a real threat in a relatively weak Eastern Conference. Plus, the flag football team that I coach is the Hawks, so I owe it to them to be pretty big about Atlanta.
6. NEW YORK KNICKS (3rd in Atlantic Division)
First things first, I am aware that A'mare Stoudemire will miss the first two-three weeks of the season with a ruptured knee cyst, which will likely turn out to be the first four-six weeks. Second, I am aware that this team just got rid of the biggest superstar it's seen not named Carmelo or Eddy Curry since Patrick Ewing. Linsanity had a strange and abrupt end in the Big Apple. Third, I am aware that this team has not won a playoff series in 2000, and fourth I am aware that this team is built on mediocre players who honestly have a bigger name than game. Still, I believe in the 2012 New York Knicks. Maybe not to win that first playoff series since 2000, since in this ranking they'd draw Indiana (who they do not match well with), but to at least make the playoffs, which a lot of people have deemed impossible.
The Carmelo-A'mare Show has been more of a soap opera or episode of MXC than a success. But maybe 2012-13 is different. And even if it isn't, the addition of Jason Kidd will help more than some people might think. New York has lacked the intelligence of a point guard (Jeremy Lin fans, hold your breath or hang on to that rodeo) lately, and Kidd is a sure thing Hall of Famer at the position. Kidd can still defend, run an offense, and steal the ball with the best of them, despite his old age. Also, J.R Smith and Steve Novak will definitely see more playing time this season, which is a very good thing. Novak led the league in three's last season, and J.R Smith helped guide the Knicks into the playoffs when Lin went down. Unfortunately, he also let them down in their ugly playoff loss to Boston, but still. Smith is a energy boost that this team needs. In the end, I expect an MVP-like season from Carmelo. He has come far enough to start realizing that winning scoring titles does nothing in correlation to winning trophies in this league. Anthony needs to share the ball this season to have a shot at a ring, and if he doesn't allow that to click, than the Knicks need to end the Carmelo Era sooner than they would have hoped. But that's kind of right down New York's alley, plans generally don't go as planned here. Minus Isaiah Thomas as head coach, that worked out well.
7. CHICAGO BULLS (2nd in Central Division)
The Bulls were 18-9 last season without their leader, point guard Derrick Rose. The Bulls also had John Lucas III, Kyle Korver, and Omer Asik last season. The Bulls don't have any of those three this season, and also will play most of the year without Rose. While this team still boasts a very impressive starting five despite missing a league MVP, I see no way Chicago can be much of a threat to teams on a consisten basis, and only have them making the playoffs because I am on the opposing bandwagon of so many Eastern "bubble teams". You'll see what I mean by this soon.
Anywho, the Bulls will go as far as their starters take them without Rose because the bench has taken such a hit by the three losses above. Luol Deng is a fantastic player, but not quite ready to lead a team. Carlos Boozer has lost some of his pop. Richard Hamilton is in the same category, and coming back from injury. And Joakim Noah might be the most overrate player in the league. I believe the Bulls can tread water until Rose comes back, and if Rose is 100 percent for the postseason, drawing an older Boston team in the first round might be just what the doctor ordered. But for now, the Bulls are just waiting for the doctor to say Rose will be 100 percent again someday.
8. DETROIT PISTONS (3rd in Central Division)
I might get some heat for this, especially since it means I don't have "The Most Overrated Team in the History of Overrated Teams", the Brooklyn Nets, making the playoffs. To those people, I say I have no qualms, because I'll be the one laughing when Greg Monroe and Brandon Knight hoist the NBA Finals trophy in the air next June. Well, at least get swept by the Heat in the first round, but same thing.
The Pistons have been pretty awful since the dynasty of the mid 2000's, the same dynasty that only Tayshaun Prince still represents. Prince is not the scorer that he once was, but he is the veteran presence of a very young and inexperienced team. Detroit has seen some porous squads on the court for the past few seasons, but finally started seeing winning basketball after a 4-20 start to last season. They played .500 ball for the rest of the season, led by one of the league's best young big men and future franchise player, Greg Monroe. Monroe led the team in games started, rebounds, steals and points per game at the age of 22. At 6'11'' and 250 pounds, this guy is a workhorse who I firmly believe will be the breakout stud of the season. And if he isn't that guy, then I believe Brandon Knight could be. Knight was a strong candidate for Rookie of the Year last season, scoring 12 points per game and fitting well as the starting point guard. Knight hit 38 percent from downtown, which is something I love. The Pistons can hurt you from up top with Knight, down low with Monroe, mid-range with Prince and Stuckey and all over with Andre Drummond.
If Detroit can stay healthy, and if these young promising players can continue to develop, than I don't understand why more people haven't jumped on this bandwagon. I made a bet with my buddy that Greg Monroe would breakout and have a huge season and lead this team to the playoffs, and if that doesn't happen, I will have a picture of Monroe as my Facebook profile default for a month. Think this is safe... They say I'm cocky, and I say "WHAT?!" ?
9. MILWAUKEE BUCKS (4th in Central Division)
Who was 5th in the league in scoring last season with 99.0 points per game? Well, if you didn't read that this was the Bucks section, would you still have guessed them? Be honest, it's just us here now, if we can't be honest by now, we should stop here. I'm sorry, but it had to be said. I think we're stronger now after getting rid of that elephant in the room. Honestly, why does that saying exist? Was that ever a real situation? Was there a small dinner party where an elephant was hanging out in the corner of the dining room and none of the guests would address it? That being said, I'm loving the links in this blog so here ya go: Of course I floss like dem dc boys
Anyway, I guess I owe Milwaukee a little preview section, although I honestly think this team has been the 8 or 9 seed for the past four seasons and will be for the next four. The Bucks have been an average team and do not improve ever. They also don't get worse, which allows for them to be on ESPN for a total of two weeks at the end of the NBA season when the "Race for Eight" goes on, and Milwaukee eventually loses out to some other team. It's inevitable, Milwaukee, but a team with only Brandon Jennings won't aspire to much. Jennings is young as he has only accrued 7171 career NBA minutes, and now he does have a sidekick in Monta Ellis for a full season. The Bucks will score points again, and have a strong chance at League Pass favorites behind Jennings, Ellis, and Drew Gooden. Mike Dunleavy Jr. could also pose a break out season and is a strong candidate for Sixth Man award. However coach Skiles draws it up, though, this team simply is not deep enough to make the playoffs. Outside of Ellis and Jennings, there isn't much talent on this team. And they suffer from the Samuel Dalembert curse, where any team he plays for has a ceiling of "average".
10. BROOKLYN NETS (4th in Atlantic Division)
Ladies and gentlemen, you're Most Improved Team for 2012-13 as voted by the NBA General Managers. Ladies and gentlemen, you're Most Overrated Team for 2000-2013 as voted by the me.
The Nets were like the third Presidential Debate, where there was a lot of talking and no real coherence, with plenty of mess that made it unwatchable. The Nets tanked to get Deron Williams to resign instead of heading to Dallas, but Mark Cuban made that a lot easier by not showing up to the meeting with Williams. That's like emailing a company you want an interview with everyday, buying an expensive suit, clearing your schedule for the next decade so you show how dedicated you are to this job, and then bailing on the interview. That's okay though, Mark has a solid gig with Shark Tank now.
The Nets were not the worst team in the league last season, but the Nets were still awful and tried hard to be that bad. Avery Johnson has the excuse "Hello, you try and win even 25 games with this shit-ridden team" for last season. That excuse won't fly this year. Not with a new stadium with seats to be filled. Not with Deron Williams coming back. Not with resigning Brook Lopez and shelling money at him as if he were David Robinson or A-Rod. Or Wiz Khalifa. Not with a new team name and new team look. Not with acquiring Josh Johnson and promising fans that he won't hog the ball and will live up to the mega-contract he boasts (maybe, kinda, but he probably won't). Not when they play in the East where those bottom three playoff spots are more or less wide open.
In the end, though, this team is mostly hype and not the real thing. Brook Lopez might be built up to be a fantastic center who deserved the deal he got. Gerald Wallace might feel the same way about his contract. Neither of them are as good as the money they are getting says and both are health risks. Josh Johnson is a selfish scorer, and Williams wants to (and is) be the main guy. If and when Johnson tries to take that from him, this team will self-combust and end up with 38 wins and miss the playoffs. But honestly, that wake-up call might be what this team needs.
11. ORLANDO MAGIC (3rd in Southeast Division)
When I first looked at this Magic team's roster, I thought for a second "Huh, this team is solid. They have a realistic shot at making the playoffs in the Eastern Conference." Than I decided that I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue.
Fo real doe, this Magic team looks good on paper. To the casual fan, names like Hedu Turkoglu, Jameer Nelson,and well it gets considerably uglier after that. They did bring in J.J Reddick and Nikola Vucevic as well as the excellent defender, Aaron Afllalo, in the Dwight Howard trade. They also got rid of Dwight Howard in the Dwight Howard trade. Vegas has the over/under for the wins total for Orlando at 23 this season. I see Orlando making a push at, say, 27 wins? Max? On paper, this is a 27 win team. That's all there is to it.
Orlando doesn't even really have a good future or much potential to build around. I would claim this season is a rebuilding year, but it really is not. The Magic are kind of in a mess year, trying to move on from the Dwight Howard Era that ended in absoulute chaos and drama. While many fans, the few Orlando has, might miss Howard, the deal was the best possible for the Magic. Orlando got Afllalo, who can at least help immediately, even though he is not a guy to build around. Orlando could conceivably build around Nelson, but that is nothing to be excited about. What I'm trying to say is that the Magic have no direction, which means there is no rebuilding plan, which means I see no reason to watch them, which means they could tank this season to land the number one pick in a weak draft. If you do want a reason to watch Orlando, which really sounds like a personal problem, then do it for Turkoglu. He's on my fantasy team, Mutombo's Doghouse, this season and needs to hit 3's for me to compete. HT FOR THREE BABY!
12. TORONTO RAPTORS (5th in Atlantic Division)
The days of Vince Carter are long gone. The days of Chris Bosh are gone. The days of a terrible basketball team might be on the way out the door as well pretty soon. This Raptors team is quietly impressive, with lots of chance for success and lots of chance for failure this season. I wouldn't be surprised if Toronto finished 14th or last in this conference, and I wouldn't be surprised if they made the playoffs as an eight seed. I also wouldn't be surprised if the Raptors commentators don't make it two weeks with the names of the starting five for this squad. Between trying to pronounce Jonas Valanciunas, Andrea Bargnani, and Demar Derozan, Toronto might as well just sign DeSagana Diop, Sasha Povlovic and Brian Scalabrine. They should sign Scalabrine for light hearted reasons, not so much a tough last name. (Tip: When remembering how to spell Connecticut, break it up into three words! Connect. I. Cut. You're welcome! Speaking of you're welcome, don't forget the difference between you're and your!)
Toronto plans on building this team around the combination of Bargnani and first year, 6'11'' center Valanciunas. Valanciunas is the future of basketball in Toronto, or wherever this team is playing five seasons from now. Bargnani only played in 35 games last season, which no doubt effected Toronto's offense as the big man is easily the team's most consistent scorer. While Kyle Lowry being brought in to help score more points, he also can play very solid defense. My key to this team though is point guard Jose Calderon, as he now gets the boot from the starting gig to make way for Lowry. Calderon has been the guy for the past few seasons here along with Bargnani, and one has to wonder how being demoted to the bench will affect him. If he still plays the caliber he has for the past few seasons, than all of the sudden this bench is actually pretty impressive with Amir Johnson, Terrence Ross and John Lucas III.
This team won't be persuading anyone to buy NBA League Pass and certainly won't be leading off, let alone appearing, on SportsCenter, but they will contend. This team has the talent to sneak up on teams and hang around at least in a weak conference, but I think the ultimate downfall will be the lack of depth and reliance on unproven players. If Valanciunas can prove that he can handle being the franchise guy someday, than Toronto is in a good position. Otherwise, they will be a lottery team waiting for that scratch-off stud to bring life back to Toronto basketball.
13. WASHINGTON WIZARDS (4th in Southeast Division)
For any readers who are still with me, almost 5,000 words later and that lame scratch-off joke at the end of the Raptors section, thank you. For you, I offer .35 Washington Wizard tickets! Too hefty?! The John Wall Show?! Well, the sad thing is that was actually a price for select Wizards tickets as late as last week. Safe to say basketball in DC is dying? And rightfully so. The Wizards are an organization that pretty easily watched Rashard Lewis and Andray Blatche leave this offseason, rid themselves of an actual star in JaVale McGee last season, and have done nothing to address the fact that Nene is suffering plantar fasciitis and will not be 100% maybe at all this season. Oh, and John Wall won't be around for the first eight weeks.
Yeah, thirty five cents sounds about right.
The Wizards were a playoff team just a few seasons ago. Than Gilbert Arenas started playing with guns, JaVale McGee started goofing off on the court and now here we are. Albeit, the Wizards are in the middle of a youth movement, but this process might take longer than the release of the Arrested Development movie. "WHERE THE FUCK ARE MY HARDBOILED EGGS?!"
Once Wall is back (until he is, look for A.J. Price to fill in. Price is a solid fill-in, if he isn't filling the only good player and clear leader of a team), this team will significantly look different. During Wall's absence, Nene, who as we mentioned will not be able to play remotely close to his full self, Emeka Okafor or Trevor Ariza will need to step up and lead this team. The problem is that none of these guys, even Wall at this point, are capable of leading a team. While the Southwest division is wide open after Miami, I still believe this team is at least two seasons away from competing for a playoff spot. That means you will see a lot more "When will John Wall want out of DC" and "Name Two Wizards, Win a Free Cruise" headlines, as well as more discounts on Wiz-Kids tickets. MJ, keep that phone nearby.
14. CLEVELAND CAVALIERS (5th in Central Division)
Imagine this scenario for a second if you will. June 2014, the scene is a lightly lit room, white walls and a small stage in the middle of the floor. Around the stage seats about one hundred media people, including Stephen A. Smith who is waiting to write a race column. On the stage sits Jonathon Coachman from ESPN, who while he probably wishes he was still doing this: The WWE is real! he has moved his way up on the ESPN ranks. He is interviewing LeBron James, winner of two NBA Finals while in Miami. James is a free agent right now, and decided to host The Decision Part Two: LeWhereTo? James says this time around he is donating all proceeds to the David Stern Retirement Party, and promises he won't say "I'm taking my talents to...". Instead, he promises to say "I'm taking my wise ass to...". In the end, James decides to leave Miami, leave his pals (and Chris Bosh), and head....back to Cleveland! He's back Cleveland! Cleveland, Ohio finally has something going for them other than The Drew Carey Show and Brandon Weeden, who by 2014 will likely be filing his 401k.
James goes on to win multiple titles in Cleveland, being a part of two seperate dynsaties and winning back the hearts of Cavalier fans everywhere. Andddddddd, cue Chris Grant waking up from a dream and Mike Brown waking up from a nightmare. And Delonte West waking up from a nightmare too.
Realistically, the Cavs are very close to competing. They are simply too young right now, as eleven of their players are 24 or younger, and thirteen are 25 or younger. A team that young can not compete in this league. That being said, I firmly believe, and put me on record right now, that Kyrie Irving will finish in the top ten in MVP voting this season. Irving will do what he can to make this team the best it can be, and Anderson Varejao will add what he can. Simply, that won't be enough to make a playoff run. While in the middle of a youth movement and rebuilding post-James, this team did need to dramatically improve on the defensive side. The Cavs gave up 100 points a game last season. A healthy Varejao will help, but they expect Tristan Thompson to contribute right away as well, when I think he will take more time to develop. And that is what this team needs, more time. One thing the Cavaliers have going for them? Kick-ass uniforms, I love them! Excuse me while I go curl up with a bottle of Nutella and watch You've Got Mail.
15. CHARLOTTE BOBCATS (5th in Southeast Division)
Well, the Bobcats. Charlotte started five rookies in a game last season. Charlotte won seven games and ended last season with a twenty-three game losing streak. Charlotte scored 87 points a game and gave up 100.9 last season. Charlotte will compete with it's own record for lowest win total in a season this year, as the team they have is still in that ballpark with the seven wins of 2011-12.
All kidding aside, they really will.
Charlotte is not a good team, they really are not. Brendan Haywood is their starting center. Tyrus Thomas, who has only ever been deemed "good" when coming off the bench in reserve roles, is their starting power forward. Michael Kidd-Gilchrist and Gerald Henderson are solid players, although don't forget that Kidd-Gilchrist has played as many NBA regular season minutes as Honey Boo Boo and I have. However, I am totally sold on Ramon Sessions if not for the one game I watched on NBA TV. I make opinions on people pretty quickly. For example, I saw someone trying to use a computer that was clearly equipped with a mouse the other day. She thought it was a touchscreen. There was a mouse. I'm not sure whats sadder, the fact that I remember this or the fact that I got way too much of a kick out of it when it happened. Anywho, Ramon Sessions will be the bright spot of this dismal Charlotte season. This all being said, buy your Bobcats Finals tickets today!
Well, thanks for coming along for the ride through the Eastern Conference, but we're not done yet! This blog site just keeps letting me go on and on and on, so I'ma go on and on and on. But first, a word from our sponsors: The Case for Jeff Van Gundy's Emmy
EASTERN CONFERENCE PLAYOFFS
1 MIAMI over 8 DETROIT 4-0
I may have talked up the Pistons as if they were my son taking his first stab at little league, but this is where he takes his first stab at driving and I give up. Greg Monroe can maybe handle LeBron for a quarter or two at this point in his career, assuming the hype I personally put on his shoulders is true. He can't handle a whole series. Simply put, Miami is the best team in the NBA, Detroit is not in the same breath.
2 BOSTON over 7 CHICAGO 4-2
Remember, Derrick Rose will be back at this point. The Celtics may have all deteriorated at this point and Rondo and Courtney Lee might be the only guys left standing. My difference here will be Pierce. Both teams are relatively deep, although the obvious nod still goes to Boston. Pierce takes over games at times, especially in the playoffs. I see this series being tied 2-2 before Pierce says "Shit, this could be my last season, my last playoff. We're considerably better than this team. Screw them." Than he goes apeshit and advances Boston to Round 2.
3 INDIANA over 6 NEW YORK KNICKS 4-1
I can not tell you how many times I have heard "Indiana can't sneak up on anybody in the playoffs this year." Did Miami sneak up on anyone last year? Did Boston sneak up on people in 2008? How about the Jazz in the late 90's? Sure, this Pacers team doesn't boast LeBron James, Kevin Garnett, or Karl Malone, but they are as deep as anybody and luck out here by facing the Knicks who almost seem to try and find new and exciting ways to shit themselves in the playoffs. Easy series win for Indiana.
5 ATLANTA over 4 PHILADELPHIA 4-3
By this point in the year, the 76ers will be run dry. They do not have a deep bench and are relying on a big man who has never been "the"guy. Atlanta is younger and quicker and deeper than Philly, and also match up well against them. Horford will have a big enough series, and watch for Jeff Teague and Anthony Morrow to be too speedy and make too many shots for the Sixers to keep up. It hurts to type, but Philly loses in seven.
ROUND TWO
1 MIAMI over 5 ATLANTA 4-2
I like the Hawks for the playoffs, I think they are kind of built for it. But, they are not built to beat the Heat. In a seven game series, I see them sneaking out two close wins on the heels of Horford and Teague, but ultimately, the Heat are on a mission and will not allow a Hawks team to end that. James averages 30 a game in this series, Bosh averages under ten.
2 BOSTON over 3 INDIANA 4-1
The Celtics want this matchup, because what Indiana boasts as their biggest strength (depth) is exactly what Boston has. While some might say the Celtics depth is made up of mediocre players, I see them as role players who will know what to do in the playoffs. Boston wins this series pretty easily, and gets the matchup they built their team for in the offseason.
EASTERN CONFERENCE FINALS
1 MIAMI over 2 BOSTON 4-3
In what I think will be the most exiting and entertaining Eastern Conference Finals in recent memory, the Heat will come out on top because of, drumroll please, LeBron James. James is defending his first title, and with Wade likely to be hurt often this season and Chris Bosh being, well, Chris Bosh, he knows this his team even if it isn't "His Team". James goes bananas (yes, I did just sing Gwen Stefani to spell that right. Like you don't do that. B-E-A-U-TIFUL.) when he realizes he can have an MJ-esque moment in Game 7, and send his team back to the Finals for a chance at repeating and threepeating as Eastern Conference champions.
In other news, this turns out to be Kevin Garnett's last game. Pierce will come back for at least one more season, but I don't see KG's legs being able to handle another season. In honor of the greatest guy who I hate because, for whatever reason, I don't respect pricks who call other players "cancer patients", : KGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!
EASTERN CONFERENCE MVP: LEBRON JAMES, miami (had to)
EASTERN CONFERENCE ROOKIE OF THE YEAR: MICHAEL KIDD-GILCHRIST, charlotte
EASTERN CONFERENCE BREAKOUT PLAYER: GREG MONROE, detroit
EASTERN CONFERENCE COACH OF THE YEAR: DOUG COLLINS, philadelphia
Well, please read Part 2 when I preview the Western Conference and go in-depth with my NBA Finals insight. Thanks again for reading! I got paid zero dollars per word to do this, so tips are welcome. Please send all tips to my current residence. If you were a true fan of mine, you'd know where that is. BANDWAGON FANS!
-PMG
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